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dh - snoring and weight loss......

(16 Posts)
mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:20:11

dh is a couple of stone overweight ( has been creeping up for the past few years) and ever since his weight started to go up he started snoring. It is so bad now that i either have to wear earplugs or he has to sleep in the spare room. He doesn't like excercise such as the gyn, swimming, etc but does go walking a few times a week ( very hilly where we live so fairly good exercise). He ( and i) both love our food and wine too. He's been saying for a bout 3 years he'll try to lose weight , but instead he's put weight on. My question is , should i just leave him to it or keep on at him to excercise more and eat less? I

avenanap Mon 22-Sep-08 21:24:22

Sleep apnea is mainy caused by being overweight, the signs are snoring and being tired. I would get him to exercise more and eat less AFTER going for a check up with the GP.

mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:30:28

He saw gp today as we wondered if he might have sleep apnea. Doctor said he didn't have this but should lose some weight as this would help reduce/stop snoring. Trouble is, i suppose he actually has to want to lose weight! he went to gp about 2 yrs ago and was told to lose a stone then, instead he put on a stone! I can't make him eat less/exercise though. I do cook healthy meal most days and i often make his sandwiches for work so he doesn't buy unhealthy stuff. i dont know what else i can do.....

avenanap Mon 22-Sep-08 21:33:39

'You can take a horse to the water but you can't make it drink.' I think after enough nights on the sofa or buy himself then he should get it.

mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:35:55

Unfortuantely not. It very hurtful that he's rather we slept aprt or i have to wear earplugs because he's not put in the effort to lose weight. He knows how upsetting i find it but it doesn't make any difference

avenanap Mon 22-Sep-08 21:38:34

sad I don't think you being the one who has to sleep somewhere else is helping. His snoring doesn't affect him if it's not him IYSWIM. Have you tried sewing tennis balls in his shirt so he doesn't roll over or those nasal strips (for him)?

mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:41:32

It's him who goes to the spare room. Doctor suggested nasal strips so he's going to buy some tomorrow

squeaver Mon 22-Sep-08 21:42:22

Unfortunately, aveanap is right. He has to want to do it himself. My dh's weight goes up and down but the first thing that happens when he loses some is he stops snoring!

I bet he could start to lose some quickly just by: not drinking for a few weeks, cutting out bread and any junk food and doing some exercise.

Maybe you could ask him to try it just for a couple of weeks? And do it together?

mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:45:03

He has reduced his drinking in the last few weeks - just has one small glass of wine with dinner. Also he hasn't been drinking beer for a couple of weeks and has reduced his snacks - maybe that will make a difference, combined with meore walking?

OneLieIn Mon 22-Sep-08 21:47:05

Mymittens, am in exactly the same boat as you. DH needs to lose weight, snores like a train (an old creaky noisy coal powered steam one) and drives me insane. He has reduced his wine intake too and started exercising, but i think he needs to do more.

Shall we do synchronised nagging?

girlandboy Mon 22-Sep-08 21:47:25

Sewing tennis balls in the back of a t-shirt doesn't work on my dh. He can snore in ANY position, even flat out on his front! I resort to a swift kick. grin Ashamed to admit that I even put a pillow over his head once - he didn't even know about it! Ok, I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I had reached desperation level. blush

Incidentally, dh is not overweight at all, and doesn't smoke (or any of the other reasons for snoring). He's a mystery!!!!

mymittens Mon 22-Sep-08 21:50:45

Oneliein - at least i'm not the only one! Nagging, reminding doesn't work with my dh - just makes him stroppy . Well maybe it's worked a bit at last. Only the scales over the next few weeks and months will tell........

babbi Tue 23-Sep-08 00:04:57

Can I join the nagging team !!! DH`s weight is also interfering in other "ways" sorry TMI , so I am going to get really tough with him .. he is a greedy sod who stuffs his face until he is fit to burst , neither healthy nor attractive !
As for the snoring ... if I don`t get much sleep tonight again , I may not be responsible for my actions !!
You really have my sympathies

jawjawnotwarwar Tue 23-Sep-08 00:07:15

Thing is, once you lose weight, you just put it on again. So I think just address the snoring thing and don't hassle him and make yourselves miserable about the weight. Hope the strips work.

lovecat Tue 23-Sep-08 07:01:20

DH lost 4 stone and his unbearable I'm-going-to-stab-you-if-you-don't-shut-up-you-bastard-type snoring stopped almost as soon as he lost the first stone and a half. He's put a stone back on since but the snoring hasn't returned, thank the Lord!

I wouldn't waste energy being hurt over his 'refusal' to lose weight, I doubt VERY much that he's making a conscious decision not to lose weight so he doesn't have to come to bed with you and it's unlikely that he wants to snore - I suspect you're taking this very personally (having read your breast reduction threads you do have a tendency to make it all about you, don't you?wink).

Please don't nag him, that will simply make him resentful and rebellious. He's an adult, only he can make his own mind up. And tbh it sounds like he's taken this on board, he's cut down on drink and started walking - you really can't say he's not making an effort!

What you CAN do, however, is give him smaller portions (when we were losing our weight it was a revelation how little we actually needed to eat, I was feeding us both enough for two, no wonder we were overweight!). If, like DH, he's the sort of man who likes a full plate and feels deprived if it's only half full, cut down on the potatoes/pasta/rice element of the meal and replace with loads of green veg/salad. Portion control is key.

If he's still hungry thereafter, make sure there's no cake/biscuits/crisps in the house but lots of healthy snacks - fruit, or veg strips and low fat dressing as dips, which he can snack on to his heart's content. Not only good for him but healthier for you too!

Good luck

mymittens Tue 23-Sep-08 11:39:19

Good thinking lovecat! I'm not doing the ooking at the mo because still taking it eady after my op but will be back on "cooking duty" from next week so just won't give him as much! Good idea to fill the plate the vegetables . I've tried for a while befor but end up feeling guilty - will tell myself it's for his (and my) own good!!. Maybe if we say no snacks, etc in the week and just treat our selves at the weekend, he won't feel completely deprived!!!

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