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feeling low just needed to talk

(5 Posts)
anothermum92 Fri 19-Sep-08 15:44:50

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ditzzy Fri 19-Sep-08 15:56:36

I remember your original threads - I read them all, but didn't ever post because I didn't think I could add anything.

You've come so far over the last six months! Look over your odd threads and prove it yourself. OK, today you might not be feeling quite so hot, but look at what you've done and how well you've coped so far.

CarolsFavourite Fri 19-Sep-08 16:06:10

I think you're really brave, for trying to make a go of things after what I know is an extremely painful betrayal. I was in a different situation but it boils down to the same thing. My boyfriend left when I was pregnant and he slept with someone else, I know we weren't married and it wasn't an affair but it still killed me. He also came back and I questioned if it was what he really wanted and also if it's what I really wanted as I felt so betrayed and angry at how much he'd hurt me I didn't know whether I could make a go of it. I guess actions speak louder than words and you deserve as much effort from him to work at this. I don't know him so I can't say either way, but it's a very good sign that he goes to relate. I found myself thinking at first was it the baby I am staying for? Is that why he wants to sort it out, because he wants a proper family like me? and is it the relationship we both want and not each other? I asked him in the end and I knew straight away his commitment was genuine and they were just niggles and doubts that you're bound to have. I know this sounds silly but I went to see 'the women' at the cinema the other day and altho it's not the best film it made me think about my situation and how relationships are never black and white and through all the bad things that happen there is always a silver lining. He may have made a mistake, we all do, but if your feelings are right you can trust you wont be lonely forever and you're not always going to feel like this. I found before that getting out with friends didn't always help, and staying in on my own didn't either...sounds stupid I know, but I had to realise things on my own and having your friends support is great but ultimately them telling you what a waste of space he is and trying to take your mind off it only helps for so long. I used to write stuff down and make plans, and sometimes cry and mope around but thats ok you're only human but you will find your way through this. Take care and see that film. I hope you work things out soon.xx

HappyWoman Fri 19-Sep-08 16:16:58

I remember your thread too - and i hope i posted good things thensmile.

Firstly please come and join us on fab and glam thread - we are really friendly and there are lots of newbys too!

Of course you are going to have self doubts and feel low that you may be very foolish to allow this man to do it to you again. But if you do not allow him to then you will never know.

It is scary but it can be done - and with help along the way the journey is not so lonely.

It is good that your h wants to go to counselling - can i ask why you are still living apart?

I feel that you want to but are so scared of looking a fool.

Believe me the only fool if he does do it again or does not put 100% into it will be him - and people will see that too.

Also dont beat yourself up for now not wanting to make a go of it or for even not knowing what you want anymore, you have gone through a huge shock and it takes time to really see what you want.

Do take care and let us know and please do join us at f/g.

anothermum92 Fri 19-Sep-08 17:06:17

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