Changed my name but have posted many times and feel ashamed that I'm still in relationship.
What do I best do about this? This year we (meaning me hd and ds) have spent 3.5 months with mil - mainly in my two bedroomed flat. We had to go to her country to pick her up to bring her here and it was only 6 weeks into her stay that I was kindly told she was staying another 4 weeks.
Then I tooks two weeks leave to take ds and spend tme with my mum who lives about 1.5 hours away (but she's quite old) in August - but dh went beserk and instisted we spend one of those weeks in his country. End up spending another week in dh's co0untry to see mil and then only one week with my mum - in August the first time this year.
H and I have big issues. In fact we flew to hd country, spent a tedious week (won't go into that - but I have babysitter status there), fly back to UK and straight to my mum's, dh spends three days and then leaves in a huff at about midnight saying he wants to leave me. My mum had locked up for the night and had to let him 0out. She was worried about him and begged him to stay until morning - he called me all names under the sun to her (eg I was mad, I'm a bitch etc). And left.
Me and ds returned home three days later as I have to go back to work. You don't even want to know the state of the flat in the 4 days he was home alone. He's sulking. I'm trying to keep things togehter. My 70 year old mum is very upset.
Tonight dh is again very upset saying he now has to work over christmas - and he was planning to bring mil here as that what she wants. Note I'm informed, not asked.
Well I'd arranged with him to spend Christmas with my mum as we'd only spent a one week with her to date. He's gone bonkers.
His mum is constanly calling him everyday at work and drives this relationship. Eg. one night Saturday, phone rings, I pick up, there's silence - I keep asking who it is, eventually she says it's her but had thought she'd dialled dh's work - well that shows that she won't ever phone here when I'm around but has a hot line every day to his place of work and this where decisions are made.
How the hell do I manage this. dh won't here a thing about this. No relate, nothing. My parents who are very liberal are hopping mad - given mil know's i've only seen my mum with ds one week this year - what the fxxx is she playing at - and my hd. he keeps citing divorce and threatens to take our ds away.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do I tackle my dh and mil - the eternal couple
tryingherbest · 18/09/2008 21:49
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