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Help my friends brother just killed himself

(6 Posts)
GretaRead Wed 17-Sep-08 16:16:45

Oh my god, i dont know how to help her. Her brother is only 30 and he killed himself with pills. He has has depression for years and i am sure this was "another" cry for help. He died and she is crying, angry, crying, shouting, I want to help her but i just end up crying too:-(
My personal opinion is that he is selfish, but as i have no knowledge of depression this is probably a bit one sided, has anyone else got any advise, i am at a loss at how to help her

chocolatemummy Wed 17-Sep-08 16:19:10

there really is not much you can do except tell her you are there, if and when she needs you.
No point being angry I am sure he must have felt pretty dreadful to go through with that whether he meant to actually kill himself or not

hecate Wed 17-Sep-08 16:21:44

Just be there for her, with tlc and a listening ear. See if there's anything practical you can do - school runs, cooking etc. There's nothing wrong with crying yourself, but at the same time keep the focus on her and her needs. Don't offer opinions on what he did or why he did it.

RandomFlopsy Wed 17-Sep-08 16:23:15

He must have been in a very very bad place. Keep your views about why he did what he did to yourself - it won't help anyone and as you say, you have no knowledge of depression. Just support her and be there for her.

Podrick Wed 17-Sep-08 16:23:44

People don't kill themselves to be "selfish" - I think this is an unhelpful attitude which doesn't show any understanding of depression at all. I think it would be best to keep that viewpoint to yourself.

IfYouDidntLaughYoudCry Wed 17-Sep-08 21:42:16

As others have said, make sure she knows you're there for her, let her know you're thinking about her etc. I believe that anyone who goes as far as to take their own life isn't selfish but feel an amount of pain that is unbearable to them and if it is related to depression then we cannot judge. That probably makes it harder for her to know that her brother was going through such torment. Be as loving as you can and you will really help her.

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