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friends taking advantage?

(8 Posts)
p1umpudding Tue 16-Sep-08 18:42:09

I've thrown all my friends a baby shower, look after their kids, remember b'days and they're always at my house for dinner. I do all the phoning, emailing and for once, I stopped for two weeks and not one of them called to see how I am/ why I've not been in touch. I feel they are using me, but now I feel really low, I have no friends and pretty sh*t about everything. Am I over reacting? I do know that a couple of friends are a little jealous that I have a nice house and don't have to work, but I really can't help that. Just feel really gutted. Anyone been in a similar situation?

BBeingpatient Tue 16-Sep-08 18:46:08

jealous friends are often not real true friends at all, i hate to go all psychoanalyst about it but i suppose your friends just see you as the facilatator tho it cant be nice to feel forgotten, im sure its not deliberate tho you could bring it up by saying something in a jovial type of way?

littlelapin Tue 16-Sep-08 18:49:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlelapin Tue 16-Sep-08 18:50:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Tue 16-Sep-08 18:52:11

Time goes so wuick;y some times it can be weeks before you ring or text someone. It means nothing other than you have been busy.

I would maybe do a bit less and then settle back and see who your friends truly are.

beansontoast Tue 16-Sep-08 18:55:56

did you deliberately 'stop'?...if so...i find that if you treat people weirdly they behave weirdly.

sorry to hear that you are feeling glum though...i hope they show their affection for and appreciation of you soon x

SueMunch Wed 17-Sep-08 13:39:32

Know the feeling well!

It took a while for me to realise but it was only me who was making the effort to get people together.

My house is naturally a sociable place with a good sized kitchen so it was ideal for my friends to come round.

What I realised is that nobody else was repaying the favour.

The other thing that REALLY bothered me was that their children would literally trash the place but when it was time to leave my friends made no effort to help tidy up. They would literally step over the mess to get to the front door.

I wouldn't dream of letting my kids mess a place up without getting them to tidy up before we leave. Or at least make an offer.

I've stopped organising get togethers at my house now, but have started to ask people that I know will respect my hospitality.

p1umpudding Wed 17-Sep-08 18:29:36

SueMunch - I know what you mean about kids trashing the house. I offered chocolate sauce with ice cream (stupid me) and one child got it EVERYWHERE and my friend just said 'oh never mind' - not a f*cking apology, nothing!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having people over, but I think it's good manners to return the invitation every once in a while.

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