Have been with a guy for 2 years-I wouldn't exactly say dp as it is a very non-committal relationship-and I am just sick to the back teeth of it, There is nothing fundamentally wrong with it, but it is driving me mad.
He lives in Yorkshire, I live in Cambridge (someone is SO going to suss me out now!), and I drive up to see him every 2nd weekend. I used to live 5 mins away from him, but then got a place at uni and couldn't refuse, as it was all I had ever wanted, so moved down here 18 months ago. We used to have a lot of fun, so it didn't matter that he was quiet and non-committal about anything, but now he just comes across as sulky and sullen, and like he could be doing anything other than spending time with me. He tolerates dd, but tries to make sure he doesn't see her, so it was never going anywhere anyway.
All was fine when I lived nearby-we used to go out every fri night for a meal or a film, go to a bar, have a lovely morning the next day, and then I would collect dd from her dad's and go home-I thought he would warm to dd over time, and although he is always kind to her, it is obvious to me he doesn't want to be with her. After I moved I would take dd to her dad's every 2nd weekend and then stay for the weekend and we would go out, have fun and snuggle on the sofa-all the lovely things couples do, but now on Fri he is too tired to do anything, we just sit around all sat because he never wants to do anything, or I go and do something on my own, and then on Sun I pick dd up and come home.
We broke up for 6 months last October (things were a bit better back then, but he still never spoke to me or did anything without serious prompting!), but after I pestered him continuously we eventually got back together, as I thought he was "the one". I am exhausted with studying, looking after dd, and just can't take the constant travelling to see him, for him to just sit there all weekend and say and do nothing-we don't even go to the cinema anymore-I clean, he goes to the tip or to see his dad (and leaves me to sit like a lemon), we eat dinner (that invariably I have cooked) and then I drive home again.
His mother is a busy body-is constantly telling me how lonely he is, how I am making him miserable etc. He just sulks and says nothing. I spoke to him on the phone last night and he said that I should come up next weekend. I said we were doing something down here and he just sulked and hung up. I have been to see him over 50 times, he has come here twice, because he doesn't like dd being around all the time. How do I break up with him without his mother, sister et all going insane on me just before the start of term? Under normal circumstances I would just do it, but because I begged him to come back I am too scared of the backlash! He makes no effort whatsoever any more, and I'm not putting 100% in and getting nothing in return-I'm very happy as an sp, but I used to really enjoy being around him, despite knowing it would never go anywhere because of the dd situation.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do I do this nicely?
Pawslikepaddington · 14/09/2008 23:01
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