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dh is skating on very think ice right now! let me vent on here before i lose it and hurt him

(40 Posts)
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 19:33:54

he came home from the pub and asked if i had put the washing in yet. no i forgot i say, "so just havent bothered doing anything then?" as he tucks into the sunday roast i have just made him and walked to tesco to buy. and lugged home all my own inc his lager.

he then has a go at me for piling the dirty pans in the sink.

then he asks dd to go and get her pj's on. she says she doesnt know where they are "oh well you will have to wait and your mum will get you ready"

and now he is sat saying to dd2 "oh is that not nice enough, its too difficult isnt it? you cant even eat it can you?" <comparing my fresh dinner to mils cook from frozen one>

at the same time as winding up dd1 telling her to turn pop girl off or he is going back to the pub! i have advised her to leave it on.

RubySlippers Sun 14-Sep-08 19:35:18

farking hell

tell him you are off out to a mates and he can clean up

RubySlippers Sun 14-Sep-08 19:35:52

is he usually like this?

PeppermintPatty Sun 14-Sep-08 19:35:52

I think YOU should go to the pub and leave him in to do the washing up / put kids to bed grin

NotDoingTheHousework Sun 14-Sep-08 19:35:57

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PeppermintPatty Sun 14-Sep-08 19:37:08

And then when you get back say "oooo not bothered doing anything then?" grin

hecate Sun 14-Sep-08 19:37:35

You haven't bothered doing anything? While he's been at the pub drinking so hard for his family of course. hmm


SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 19:37:36

good idea peppermintpaddy! no he is not usually like this but is getting to be this way quite often. i think ndth has the best idea wink

NotDoingTheHousework Sun 14-Sep-08 19:42:03

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bellavita Sun 14-Sep-08 19:44:52

I would make sure he forgot his keys on his way out and then lock the door so he cannot get back in!

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 19:47:34

he has lost his keys so that is very possible. oh sorry i forgot he hasnt lost his keys i have hmm

he is under a lot of stress atm his nephew is very ill. he was the same way last time he was ill. it doesnt mean i have to like it or even put up with it, being concerned for someone does not give you the right to behave like a tosser imo.

bellavita Sun 14-Sep-08 19:54:35

sad for you shesells, because I don't think anyone should be treated like that, stress or no stress.

NotDoingTheHousework Sun 14-Sep-08 19:55:35

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 20:51:21

oh fgs i am going to club this man very shortly. so aside from violence how can i manage his behavior?

hellish Sun 14-Sep-08 20:56:18

ask him what he has bothered doing today?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 20:58:50

i already have "a hell of a lot more than you" was the reply. he went to the shop for milk and gave the dds their breakfast. im struggling to think of anything else hmm

Majeika Sun 14-Sep-08 21:02:55

am not being funny seashells but wth is going on? You posted similar yesterday and said you couldnt go out as you had spent money on shoes for dd. How can he go out boozing?

what are you going to do about him?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 21:06:26

i had spent my money. he still has some of his money. complicated. we didnt go out last night because he was suposedly ill hmm he didnt dare go the club in the end. but thats where he has been today.

im at a loss of what do really. i know he is only being so vile because he is upset and worried over his nephew. but that doesnt excuse his behavior and doesnt mean that i should have to cop with it. my temper is wearing very think atm and i am going to walk out on him at the point where he needs me most if he is not carefull.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 21:07:11

very thin. why do i always type think?

Majeika Sun 14-Sep-08 21:08:03

i think you need a break from him tbh.

Dior Sun 14-Sep-08 21:09:36

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 21:18:33

thats a good idea dior i might do that and show him. if he sees it as plain as that he might see how is behaving because atm i think he honestly cannot see what he is doing wrong.

tonight im just going to have a bit of a tidy up to take my mind off it because the mood im in if i start talking to him i will end up screaming and swearing and that is not going to help anyone.

phdlife Sun 14-Sep-08 21:20:48

Could you sit down beside him, look him in the eye, and say "Look I know you are having a rough time atm, BUT..." I guess the proper assertive formulation would be something like, "when you say X it makes me feel like Y so I want you to STOP NOW."

I can never manage that myself, I always say "you're being a real pita, cut it out now" - sometimes dh doesn't realise what he sounds like, til I call him on it.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sun 14-Sep-08 21:43:43

and now he has gone to bed knowing full well that it means i wont be able to sleep all night! he snores terribly we have an agreement whereby i go to bed first so that i am asleep by the time his snoring starts.

i just wish i knew what exactly i have done to him to make him behave so vile towards me sad sad i just feel like sitting crying.

does he not understand that im upset about nephew too?

Dior Sun 14-Sep-08 21:44:31

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