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Need tips for conflict resolution with DH

(4 Posts)
chilledmama Fri 12-Sep-08 09:39:14

Things have been getting progressivly worse in our marriage. I'm not happy, I can't DH is happy either!
I wrote him a letter to try to start things moving forward towards...not sure but hopefully a better marriage and us being together but I appreciate it may go the other way. I have accepted though that even that would be a step forward.

I am not good at communicating in RL...easy to hide behind MN name. DH isn't brilliant at it either. We are going to sit down tonight and start to talk but I have concerns that we will end up arguing and everything will just get worse.

Any tips on how to defuse situations and general conflict resolution?????
Any/all help appreciated.

ilovemydog Fri 12-Sep-08 09:46:35

set out the 'ground rules' such as:

1. no interupting
2. no sarcasm/general statements - i.e. you always say that...
3. set a time - say, 20 minutes that you will talk. Then 'end of meeting...'
4. Use lots of 'we' - as in 'how can we resolve 'x'.
5. Stick to specific topics. Such as, care of the children. Instead of, 'you are such a lazy sod...' rephrase, 'I need more help with the day to day stuff...'


chilledmama Fri 12-Sep-08 09:50:03

Thank you Ilovemydog.

I definately like the timebound thing.

Thankyouandgoodnight Sat 13-Sep-08 22:00:48

How did you get on? I need advice on this too!!

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