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Relationships

does your man fancy you?

35 replies

tyaca · 11/09/2008 19:23

i think i get moments of fleeting appreciation, but that's it. not convinced there's a lot of lusting going on.

been together six years, been either preg or had dd in room for the last year. can you kick start a re-fancification? if so, do tell .

over to you guys

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nowwearefour · 11/09/2008 19:26

i am pretty sure your man does fancy you.nperhaps he doesnt want to be rejected by making too many moves or feel that you are under pressure to react/deliver/perform? but i reckon if you dig out some of that sexy underwear and surprise him you'll be happy with the result! or a good old 'while you are down there' might help to encourage him to appreciate you more???

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girlsallaround · 11/09/2008 19:27

you can. show him that your interested in him. make sure he feels like he has 100% of your attention at the time and make him feel like hes your priority.

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ToughDaddy · 11/09/2008 20:56

flirt with him and then let him score

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Lizzylou · 11/09/2008 21:00

Bet he does! It's just hard sometimes when youe parents to think of each other as sexual beings.
Get a babysitter/ the sexy undies out and I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised

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MrsTittleMouse · 11/09/2008 21:10

Yes, you can definitely get a re-fancification. I reckon that it's completely normal to have times when things go onto the back burner for a while. I would recommend time away from children, snogging, switching off the TV (and not going on MN instead ) and naughty books.

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tyaca · 12/09/2008 11:12

cheers guys. i wouldnt mind but i fancy the pants off him. i think we kind of have to start from scratch. last night was a bit better and we chatted about it a bit with him. bit of intimacy but was surprised by my own reticence. i've always been of the view that you've got to take responsibilty yourself you know? like, you've got to make the effort to feel sexy. and i thought i was there. i've worked really hard to get my figure back and feel like in general i look great and its just him who's not registering me but last night i guess i realised its a bit deeper set than that and i do feel really different after childbirth in ways i did not really acknowledge

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themildmanneredstalker · 12/09/2008 11:15

haven't read the thread but yes dh does still fancy me. despite me being a size 20 and having given birth to 2 9lb babies.

because i am not just how i look.

i am me-and we are MARRIED! he fancies me because we have fun together, and we can talk, and we have a huge shared history, and i am the mother of his kids.

oh and i have really big norks.

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tyaca · 12/09/2008 11:16

lol at the norks MMJ

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themildmanneredstalker · 12/09/2008 11:23

we once had one of those 'rosy look at the past' convos and i said i noticed his lovely hair first and his strong jawline.
i asked what he noticed first and he just l;aughed and said 'well-it wasn't your eyes!'

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filthymindedvixen · 12/09/2008 11:24

been together 15 years. Can still divert him from football on tv in seconds flat....

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HaventSleptForAYear · 12/09/2008 11:31

I think yes.

He says he can't resist me (naked) but seems to do a pretty good job 6 nights a week .

I don't get any compliments any more though and he used to like the cliched low-cut top which I don't do anymore post-30!

He doesn't like my new haircut either.

Been together more than 10 years and 2DS.

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tyaca · 12/09/2008 11:38

once a week seems like a bloody good score havenslept.
the haircut thing is never good is. i had all mine cut from v long to short a fortnight ago and it looks great but cutting long hair always seems to make men nervous.

now filthy, i am keen to know whether your fifteen second routine in motivated by horniness or a dislike or football?

one of the worse things from my pov is the knowledge that the one thing i can to ensure he goes right off me is moan about this and ask for reassurance. i try to be all strutty and confident but it aint working

plus this is the first time i have never worked (am SAHMing with 6mo dd at the mo) and i swear hanging out with other men or just feeling out there would help me feel better and make him want me. i used to be high powered!

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filthymindedvixen · 12/09/2008 11:41

oh dislike of football, obviously...! And even the sound of football on tv can prevent me from reading. So I torment him with my lovliness out of sheer devilment and boredom

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missjennipenni · 12/09/2008 11:44

Yep, been together 3 & half years, have a DS who is 5 months, plus my two DDs from previous relationship. We still get jiggy most nights

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ranting · 12/09/2008 11:54

Yes, he fancies me, I have looked a right state at various times, especially in the months after having dd when I lived in trackie bottoms and baggy tops. But he didn't seem to notice at all.

There are times when I wish his ardour wasn't so obvious though.

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cheesesarnie · 12/09/2008 11:55

i wouldnt have thought so no.occasionally if dresed up to go out he'll say oh i quite fancy you in that.but thats it.

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spiderpig · 12/09/2008 15:39

No mine absolutely does not

He loves me though and treats me like a princess so I guess that has to be enough?

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OrmIrian · 12/09/2008 15:41

Yes. He says so and evidence would seem to suggest that he's not lying.

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SixSpotBurnet · 12/09/2008 15:45

Yes, he seems to. Which is quite amazing as I have been with him for 22 years now, over half our lives.

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Dropdeadfred · 12/09/2008 15:48

yep he does

Spiderpig - what makes you think he doesn't???

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RonAndHarry · 12/09/2008 15:48

He'd better!

But yes, he seems to, and genuinely doesn't notice when I gain or lose weight etc

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RonAndHarry · 12/09/2008 15:49

Oh, been together 9 1/2 years ()

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kerryk · 12/09/2008 15:51

yes but (and this is not in a gloating way at all!!!) i often feel that he fancies me a bit to much.

he is constatly on my back and groping me etc and to tell you the truth it turns me of him a bit.

how can i feel like having sex with him after he has been clawing at me since i first woke up.

i am sure there is a happy medium somewhere but my dh is no where near finding it.

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Buda · 12/09/2008 15:58

No. Together 20 years and I have gotten bigger (a lot) but then again so has he. He just has no interest in sex full stop. So at least I am grateful that he doesn't fancy anyone else either (I hope!).

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WideWebWitch · 12/09/2008 16:15

Yes and vice versa. We've only been together 8.5 years though.

We went away to a hotel for a weekend recently and it became MASSIVELY obvious how much easier it was to want lots of sex and have lots of sex because we had TIME and ENERGY.

When we came back we were still up for it but:

day 1: dd came into our bed
day 2: Dh had irritating work tihng
day 3: we had silly house related bicker
day 4: something else happend, I think we were both wiped out from work or sometihng.

anyway, those aren't the exact things that happened but that's the gist of it - the point is that tedious life got in the way whereas when we were away we could just concentrate on enjoying each others company and resting when we wanted to and doing interesting things like art galleries and it meant of course we had more sex because we had the time and the energy.

We do go to bed early with a bottle of Champagne or Cava sometimes too because otherwise it's easy to prioritise other stuff. I'm not suggesting we're great at always doing so, this week we've been too knackered to do anything but grunt at each other, frankly.

Anyway, those are my fancification tips.

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