To cut a long story short, I have been dating a man for around 6 months. I love him to bits, he treats me like no man has ever done...with kindness, respect and genuine affection. He's great with my kids, he makes me laugh, we love spending time together...oh yes, and he also happens to be mixed race.
Now I wouldn't have even thought to mention this in a description of him but its relevant to this thread because I seem to be losing friends and family for this very, stupid reason.
My mum hasn't actually come out and said it but I hear the disaproval in her voice. My grandad said to me "I don't get it, out of all the men out there, you go for someone...like that". I said "like what?" and he said "you know...a darkie"
My grandmother has said (behind my back) "what if they have kids? it will be 'coloured' ... "
I've also been told that I'm risking my kids being picked on because mum is going out with a black man.
And now my best friend has started, I heard she was taking the piss out of us to another mum in the playground. She asks what "family think of it all" ... as if he's some bloody freak that everyone should be wary of.
I'm sick to death of it all and after a row with my grandad today I told him that I don't want to hear from anyone that has a problem with my partner. I then got the old "dropping family for some bloke??" but surely this is different than just putting a new relationship before family?
I have also decided to knock my so called "friendship" on the head.
Now everyone tell me I'm stupid or does anyone understand how I feel? I feel so and at the same time.
I read the title thinking oh you silly thing, never drop your mates and your family for a fella, but after reading your post I think you should. Outrageous that your family and friends should behave like this just because he is mixed race.
How old is your GP? Mine were in their 70s and very old fashioned and so when I dated an Egyptian I found it endearing and funny (although they were more worried than disaproving). However this is alarming that such things still happen in 2008 and I wish you and your partner all the best.
I don't think age has anything to do with it either. My grandad is about 75, used to be an east london docker and although he can be a little politically incorrect about some things he isn't rascist. I think rascism is about the person and not their age.
On the other hand, my ex husband's (we're separated) parents are very rascist and are only in their mid 50's. Daily Mail readers too .
No way should you have to drop this lovely new man just because your family have bigoted views. Give them time to 'come round' to the idea and if they don't try not to have anything to do with them. Would they be happier if you were with a man who treated you badly, as long as he was white? If so then they're not worth the effort.