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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

anyone still around? please please help..REALLY LONG SORRY

91 replies

hollyandnoah · 06/09/2008 23:11

I dont want to come on and moan here but i am on my own and my sister isn't answering her phone.
My dp just came in off the 10.07pm bus, he has been out sinse 1.45pm bus, he went out to watch the football. none of this i have a problem with btw.
He was with a friend who only reciently (sunday passed) spit up with his partner. They were our friends. Have been together for 6 years and i was friends with the girl for a lot longer.
ANYWAY he called me at about 9 saying he was catching the bus, would i like anythinig brought in to eat. I said just some aero bubbles(lol) and we need dogfood.
Sooo he came in steaming drunk, and lay on the sofa and fell asleep (within ten minutes). I said ' why dont you go to bed and sleep' He started shouting and bawling at me, saying he just had a good night why am i ruining it blablabla, i just said he should go to bed??
He covered his face with a cushion from the sofa, so i asked him to stop being ignorant, and he said to me that i was a crazy bitch just like 'name' (our friend thats partner just left her) I was like WHAT THE FECK and puled the pillow off his face and asked him what he meant by that.
I was kneeling at the side of sofa when i pulled the pillow away and he sat up and pushed me to the floor, lay on top of me and held his forarm over my neck, untill i gagged.
Then went back to the sofa, lay down and covered his head with the pillow again.
I stood up and said 'get out' and he said no, so i said well i am taking ds and going. he said fine. I went and packed a bag, came through to say he better be gone by the time i am back in the mroning, he grabbed my hair and threw me to the floor again. My face is all red and my nose is bleeding, my head is banging from the hair pulling and cracking on the wooden floor.
I kicked him, where it hurts for a man, i know i shouldnt have, but i was on my back on the floor and he was over me, it was the first reaction i had. He walked out the house. but he has left his bank card, mobile, wallet, keys all here on my unit.
I also havent heard the security door buzzer going off/ but hes been out about 30 mins. he was really drunk, like slurring his words drunk.

Our ds is 8 months old. he has left before and we are only just getting back on track. He lives 30 miles away but was planning on moving in here again - he moved out when we split up before.

OP posts:

Report

blithedance · 06/09/2008 23:16

Did not want it to go unanswered. Hope you get someone to talk to in RL too. You would hope that was the drink influencing his behaviour but how absolutely awful for you .

KiwiKat · 06/09/2008 23:20

It doesn't matter how drunk he was - that is absolutely foul behaviour. Has this ever happened before?

Littlefish · 06/09/2008 23:20

You poor thing. You must be terrified.

Call the police. You have been seriously and viciously assaulted.

Do not let him in.

Under no circumstances consider letting him move back in.

If you think he might try and force his way back in tonight, you need to get someone to come and sit with you, or leave the house immediately with your ds and go to the police station.

AvenaLife · 06/09/2008 23:20

I think you need to call the Police. He's assaulted you, drunk or not, there's no excuse for this. Is there someone that you can call to come and stay with you tonight?

hollyandnoah · 06/09/2008 23:21

thank you. i cant get anyone on the phone!! ahh. my wee dog is sitting on my knee shaking too, she got knocked across t he floor, by me falling back

OP posts:

AvenaLife · 06/09/2008 23:21

cross post. See, we are all saying this. Call the police and phone someone you trust to come and stay with you.

Littlefish · 06/09/2008 23:21

Contact details for Women's Aid

hollyandnoah · 06/09/2008 23:22

I just went to let my dog outside and he is lying asleep in the close .. on the concreat floor....
he has pulled my hair before and pushed me, and cornered me, but nothing with as much force as tonight.

OP posts:

AvenaLife · 06/09/2008 23:22

Just call the police. Don't let him back in.

possiblymaybe · 06/09/2008 23:23

call the police please

you need to report this incident if you ever want to be with this man again- he has to learn that his behaviour has consequencies

S1ur · 06/09/2008 23:23

Police now.

Man is an arse.

And friend and friend's partner.

Safety in numbers.

cornsilk · 06/09/2008 23:24

I am really sorry to hear this holly and noah. That must have been terrifying.

TheHedgeWitch · 06/09/2008 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thumbwitch · 06/09/2008 23:24

Call the police. You must get it on record, no one should have to put up with that sort of behaviour,and drunkenness is not an excuse. If he is that drunk, the police might take him away for the night and lock him up so you won't have to worry about him coming back until he is sober.

S1ur · 06/09/2008 23:24

Call the police and get it recorded.

You wanna wait until he wakes up?

Call the police.

goodasgold · 06/09/2008 23:24

Don't let him back into your your lives.

possiblymaybe · 06/09/2008 23:25

call 999

I'm sorry this is happening to you

stay strong

cornsilk · 06/09/2008 23:25

have you called the police yet?

clarke · 06/09/2008 23:25

It doesn't matter that hes drunk - he shouldn't of done that!
I would phone the police. It will make him think about what hes done.

Do not let him move back in.

S1ur · 06/09/2008 23:25

Are you okay?

I would imagine pretty shaken (understatement alert)

But are you okay physically? Your nose?

QuintessentialShadow · 06/09/2008 23:26

Call the police, please!
You have been assaulted!

AvenaLife · 06/09/2008 23:27

Just call them and tell them your partner's assaulted you and he's lying outside. You need to do this, he will think it's OK to treat you like this every time he gets pissed if you don't do something.

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MrsSnorty · 06/09/2008 23:28

Hope you have got the police on their way or managed to get hold of your sister. This is really serious, I am sure you are still in shock and can't believe what's happened but please listen to what everyone on here is telling you.
Hope you and your little one are ok.

Anifrangapani · 06/09/2008 23:29

I'm with them ^^^ Call the police, the man is an arse.

expatinscotland · 06/09/2008 23:29

hope you have called the police.

what if he hadn't let up on you the first time?

what if the next time, he kills you.

my SIL hasn't got it in her to split with her abusive partner.

i can't tell you how completely fucked up her life is now because she has refused to go to the police or Women's Aid - she's now basically lost her kids.

not a good scene.

get onto the cops now.

there is no excuse for this type of behaviour.

it's a crime.

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