I think I'm still in love with my ex.........

[jellybabe83]

I'm getting married in August and have a gorgeous little boy with my partner.... but ever since my ex and I split about 3 years ago, I still can't get him out of my head.....
We still talk every so often, and he's one of my best friends, even though we don't speak as much as I'd like......
I don't know what to do I tell him how I feel.... or keep it to myself............

[JoolsToo]

do think you should be getting married if you feel like this about your ex?

I'd resolve any issues before August if I were you.

[Chandra]

Jelly, if you still have issues you have two options:

-ruining your current good relationship and try to see if the other one may work, or,

• Try to come to terms with the idea that you have a great relationship now and your ex doesn't fit in it. Stoping seeing the ex could help.

[PhDMumof1]

I agree with Chandra on the options...I "cold turkeyed" on my ex, didn't see him for over 1 yr. Still feel huge rush of emotion when I see him, spk to him, BUT I know that it is over. He is like a surrogate brother / male best friend, who I know I can turn to whenever I have a problem, but it stays platonic.

I love my DH and couldn't imagine life without him, we are soulmates, it is just an accident of history that I loved someone else before him.

Oh, and we were together for 4 years, finished 11 yrs ago!!! So don't expect an overnight cure.

[expatinscotland]

I felt that way about my ex as well. Had to cold turkey w/him as PhDMum. In fact, I left the country. Best thing that ever happened to me. I loved him past e/thing, but we were awful together as a couple.

It was the best decision I ever made.

[btdt]

I could write reams and reams on this subject.

I am still 'in love' with an ex from years ago. I've been married to someone else, had a child and divorced since then, but I still think about him constantly. It's no fun at all.

You need to sort this out one way or another. This is obviously only my personal opinion, but I don't think you should not get married if you still have genuinely strong feelings for an ex. It could end up being a nightmare for everybody.

Do you think he still has feelings for you too?

[btdt]

Sorry, that should be 'don't think you should get married...'.

[jellybabe83]

Thanks for the replies everyone.... I wrote this post last night, very late, when I was listening to some old music which really reminded me of him!
I'm very happy with my partner, and I would never leave him. I also don't think that my ex still has feelings for me other than as a friend, and to be honest, if he did I don't think we would do anything about it.
Its just driving me crazy that I have these feelings, and I can't tell him because it would affect our friendship in such a huge way, and I don't want to lose that.....
Thanks again for all the advice.
xx

[Dazie]

I think that some times we dwell on the great things we had in the past relationship and dont think of the reasons why we broke up with them. Three years is quite a long time ago and you have changed so much since then you are a mother now to another mans child things have moved on. He probably wont be the same and has changed much since you were together. I think you need to think about the man you are with and what that relationship holds for all of you now and in the future the past is the past. (This is my personal opinion so you can tell me to stick it if you like!!)

[Leogaela]

I think its OK to still love an ex, don't read too much into it. It sounds as if you are very happy and have a lovely family. i am much happier with now dh than I was with ex-dh and love him just as much (probably more, but in some different ways). but me & ex-dh got together very young and did a lot of growing up together, we were very, very close. I don't see or speak to him very often, but like you Jellybabe i still have feeling for him which sometimes confuses me. He was a big, big part of my life. That will never change and I like the feeling that I can put aside the bad things and the reasons why we broke up, if I remebered the bad stuff I would be sad that I wasted so much of my life. Sometimes I hear songs that make me cry over him, usually when I am feeling emotional - it happened today actually. I got married again earlier this year ex-dh didn't know I was getting married at all, but on the morning of the marriage i had a text message from him (this happens very, very occassionally) - it was very wierd.

We were together for 10 years and broke up 5 years ago.