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Greedy, mad, bad SIL. And now she's done it again...

(9 Posts)
Puddleduck Mon 21-Feb-05 22:11:12

Dh has 2 sisters (both living next to his very old and frail parents not in this country). Good SIL supports the whole family, gets no thanks for it and is a lovely wise person. Bad SIL doesn't work and is given FIL's entire pension to buy food and pay the bills and spend the rest on herself.
Instead she spends all the money on herself, does not pay the bills and has run up massive debts. PIL's phone is now cut off. Bad SIL has done this again and again and each time good SIL and dh have coughed up the cash to bail her out of debt, pay off dodgy loan sharks etc.

I've had enough. I don't think we should bail her out this time because she will never ever have to take responsibility for herself. (She has had 2 kids 'accidently' and has never taken any responsbility for them either.) But if we don't cough up more cash dh's parents will suffer (no phone) and good SIL will shoulder the bill on her own.

What do we do????

PS changed name to save dh's pride!

WideWebWitch Mon 21-Feb-05 22:23:37

Can't you get pils to recognise that Bad SIL is bad and stop giving her money? Sorry, you must have tried this. What a PITA.

Puddleduck Mon 21-Feb-05 22:26:47

thanks www. I thought i was going to slip off the board.

You guessed it. PILs will never let anyone say a word against bad SIL (although they moan about her all the time themselves.)

I've suggested letting someone else manage the pension and have nearly been excommunicated from the family as a result!

Twiglett Mon 21-Feb-05 22:29:05

bail her out on the condition that the pension is administered by good SIL or DH

WideWebWitch Mon 21-Feb-05 22:30:10

Yes, tell pils you don't want to help any more. They have to understand that she is BAD SIL Sorry, don't mean to be flippant, just find the descriptions amusing, I'm sure the situation isn't in the least funny.

Puddleduck Mon 21-Feb-05 22:39:12

Oh if only it was as simple... Good SIL doesn't want to administer pension because she will be seen as 'winning bad sil's inheritance'(she's been given a house by pils instead and bad sil gets the pension. Dh cant because in another country. and anyway pils would never hand it over in a million years becasue they think bad sil is just unlucky - she's been so unlucky she nearly lost them their house to creditors once...

Twiglett Mon 21-Feb-05 22:40:31

employ an administrator then

are PILs compos mentis / active?

is there any reason you should feel especially sorry for them?

as in, could you let it 'go to the wire' and bail out when they finally realise how ridiculous it is to keep trusting someone who keeps letting them down?

WideWebWitch Mon 21-Feb-05 22:40:54

WEll, there's not much you can do except limit your involvement and let your pils make their own mistakes, if they trust her, more fool them. Must be painful to watch though.

Puddleduck Mon 21-Feb-05 22:46:59

yes, twiglett and www you're both saying what I feel really. It's time to let them stew in their own juice.

Except poor good sil ends up forking out again

Except kids are involved (bad sils dds who live with pils)...

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