Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. would you sleep with someone on a first date?

(44 Posts)
jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:13:11

Met someone I had been chatting to for sometime through internet dating site last night..... I did not but could have easily ended up in bed! I really was very tempted (he seemed lovely!) would that have made me a bit of a tart? Have not been on a date for years and it might (possibly) have been something I could have done as a 20 year old (I never did that said) but would not have expected it of myself at age 37!!!!

OneBoyOneGirl Fri 05-Sep-08 19:15:20

Not now im older and wiser, although I did once blush

BBBee Fri 05-Sep-08 19:18:41

maybe it is not like a first daye if you have been talking online etc because you know each other so wekll already.

or maybe i have a slutty justification streak!

feedmenow Fri 05-Sep-08 19:18:47

If you want to then you should go for it!! Who's to say what is or isn't tarty? So long as you're careful then no harm done....

arewenearlythereyet Fri 05-Sep-08 19:21:43

oh God help me am off for a first date with someone have 'met' on net, am so out of practice was looking for the bar tonight for some virtual dutch courage but have forgotten how to start a thread so am hi-jacking this one. for the record its probably best not to shag them on the first date I think, gives you and them something to look forward too!

arewenearlythereyet Fri 05-Sep-08 19:22:23

ps not because it would make you a tart at all, you are a grown woman with a mind of your own

jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:22:43

Was very... very tempted!

Desiderata Fri 05-Sep-08 19:23:17

I've always slept with men on a first date. I don't want to waste my time on a small schlonger.

jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:25:26

arewenearlythereyet..... hope your date goes as well as mine!!!! Where are you going?
So I guess it is ok to jump into bed on a 2nd date then??? Good am so out of practice!!!

beansmum Fri 05-Sep-08 19:27:24

I would/have on a first date, if I a) didn't really want to see them again but thought they were attractive and fancied a shag or b) liked them a LOT and didn't want to waste time. I am a bit of a tart though, or was pre ds.

jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:31:31 you think these days men think any less of yo these days if you do jump straight into bed?
Beansmum/desiderata.... am beginning to think I am a bit of a prude! smile

TracksuitLover Fri 05-Sep-08 19:35:18

I don't think it is wrong or slutty to sleep with him on the first date but I think waiting a bit means that you will be more reassured that he doesn't want you ONLY for sex but enjoys seeing you for YOU and who you are as well. I've always slept with men immediately and wish I hadn't. I wish I had made them 'earn' it a bit by taking more time to be nice to me and show interest in me and respect first.

Chequers Fri 05-Sep-08 19:37:12

Personally I wouldn't but don't think it's a bad thing.

My mate met a guy on - he went home with her that day and never left, they've been married 3 years now with a dc on the way grin

jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:38:59

Blimey Chequers.... maybe I should have slept with him after all!

beansmum Fri 05-Sep-08 19:40:59

if a guy is going to think less of you for sleeping with him on a first date (it takes two surely?) he is a bit of a twat anyway. imo.

muggglewump Fri 05-Sep-08 19:43:34

I would if I wanted to.
I wouldn't not sleep with someone just to make a point that I am a "nice girl" or some such shit, mainly because I'm not and I don't judge decency on when someone has sex.
If we both wanted to have sex I see no reason not to. If he didn't want anything to do with me after, it would show me we had different attitudes to sex, plus he was a total twat anyway.

citylover Fri 05-Sep-08 19:44:22

I think it would depend on the guy really. One I spoke/texted etc from online I think I would have had we met - he has gone cold though - no idea why! He is very very fanciable and I am really attracted to him.

Another that I hope to meet next weekend would not, and wouldn't be able to as will have to get back for babysitter, there has been no suggestive talk at all between us.

That doesn't really help does it. But as someone who doesn't like rules would just go with the flow and my instincts in any given situation.

arewenearlythereyet Fri 05-Sep-08 19:46:46

JVS date 2 def! just going to the pub for a drink. have also 'done it' on first date and wished I hadn;t so guess that may colour my view a little, but certainly would again i'm sure...

cafebistro Fri 05-Sep-08 19:53:02

Have 'done it' on a first date and also purposely waited a few dates and in both instances the 'relationships' have turned out to be crap.
Two of my longest relationships ( excepting the one im in now!) started off as one nighters. i think if your into someone go for it! smile

jvs Fri 05-Sep-08 19:57:15

ooohhh better dig out the bikini wax then!!! grin

arewenearlythereyet Fri 05-Sep-08 20:16:30

no purposly have not, so I can't!(wink)

Hobnobfanatic Fri 05-Sep-08 20:29:33

I think waiting - even if you are both gagging for it - is kinda more exciting. Though traditionally, I've generally shagged on the third date with all my long-term lovers; the current one (through Match), I waited until date 5 (I'm positively frigid now I'm in my late 30s!).

But if you both want to, why the hell not? If you've been chatting online, you must know each other pretty well - just trust your instincyt.

When is date 2? Wear your best undies!

Lizzylou Fri 05-Sep-08 20:39:11

I did with DH, 12 years ago, we have been married for 6yrs next month. I was only 23 at the time.

I think that you should go with the flow if you want to, depends what you want from the relationship. Maybe not advisable if you know you will get upset if they don't call again (happened a few times to me as a student blush)

LolaTheShowgirl Fri 05-Sep-08 20:54:40

you old schlappers! get in there wink

NotDoingTheHousework Fri 05-Sep-08 20:57:58

Message withdrawn

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: