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Advice on family christmas arrangements please - want to be sensitive

(12 Posts)
cyanarasamba Fri 05-Sep-08 16:08:56

We normally go up north to see both our families over Christmas. DS is 18 months old now and I was thinking it would be nice to be at home this year.

Also thought about inviting both sets of parents down. Now I know DH's parents have always had his grandmother to stay for a week over Christmas (she lives in a home for the elderly) so is it wrong to ask them if they'd like to come to us and put them in the position of having to make that choice?

I hate to think of an old lady spending christmas on her own, so is this selfish of me?

We would make sure we visited everyone in at some point before/after Christmas if we didn't see them on the day. Although this would probably be any time mid-dec to mid-jan.

hana Fri 05-Sep-08 16:14:01

yes I think so. think your last idea of visiting before/after is good idea, Christmas is a season afterall!

Cappuccino Fri 05-Sep-08 16:15:05

you'd have to invite the granny too and let them decide

Ewe Fri 05-Sep-08 16:15:31

Could DH's Grandmother come down too?

cyanarasamba Fri 05-Sep-08 16:16:55

Not really an option from Granny to come too although we would love to have her. Too far for her too travel and she needs everything -bedroom, bathroom etc at ground level.

NoblesseOblige Fri 05-Sep-08 16:16:57

invite the grandmother too or invite them not on the day, but as near to it as you can.

NoblesseOblige Fri 05-Sep-08 16:16:59

invite the grandmother too or invite them not on the day, but as near to it as you can.

Ewe Fri 05-Sep-08 16:23:48

In that case I think you should go up North and stay with them, your LO/DH may not have too many christmas days left with Grandmother.

PinkyDinkyDooToo Fri 05-Sep-08 18:24:10

Have your own quiet Christmas at home by yourselves and visit them before/after. We had our own Christmas DH, DS1 and I a couple of years ago and it was nice. I think its important to have your own special Christmas as a fmaily yourselcves, even if it is only once.

cyanarasamba Fri 05-Sep-08 20:53:50

That's a nice idea Pinky, things were pretty rushed last year with trying to see everyone on the day.

solidgoldbrass Fri 05-Sep-08 20:55:53

If you keep xmas day as just you, dh and dc then no set of relations can feel that any other set got preferential treatment, so you can arrange visits before/after at your and their convenience and avoid hurt feelings.
Best of luck (sgb remembers that she's got to deal with some Ishoos this year about where DS spends Xmas...)

Fizzylemonade Fri 05-Sep-08 22:17:24

When we were little my parents would do Christmas eve at one set of grandparents, Christmas day just at home, then Boxing day with the other grandparents (the not so nice ones so they couldn't spoil Christmas!)

If geography permits you could visit both families on the same day. We do this now as my parents and in-laws live close to each other.

As your DH's grandmother stays for a week could you coincide your visit then?

Everyone pins all this Christmas festivity on ONE day! I like it spread out, we have some relatives visit before Christmas and we allow the children to open their presents there and then. Then there isn't a huge emphasis on just Christmas day.

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