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Husband and family dislike eachother - help pls!

(4 Posts)
InsidiousViolet Tue 02-Sep-08 16:50:09

My husband and family do not get on. My husband unfortunately has an irritable temper and has snapped at various of my family members. Now there is an undertone of resentment on both sides and my family are all tiptoeing around him even though I have spoken with him and hopefully it will not happen again.

I am very close to my family and want us all to get along but now it is pretty miserable.

What can I do? Anyone been in the same boat?

Thank you!

InsidiousViolet Tue 02-Sep-08 17:23:58

bump

hifi Tue 02-Sep-08 17:32:53

my dh and sister have fallen out, neither will make up.

i go to see them, 3hour journey but she doesnt come to see me.we used to have lovely half terms, weekends all together.

im the one suffering as its so awkard. have tried to persued dh to reconcile but he wont hear of it.ds is astubborn as a mule.

know how exactly you feel.

Showmeheaven Tue 02-Sep-08 17:48:06

Yes, I've been there and its very difficult. In my case there was no argument or falling out. My sis & my mom just took a dislike to my dh over a couple of really minor things. He eventually noticed the bad vibes coming his way, and I suppose he gave some bad vibes back in return.

This went on for a couple of years and resentment really built up on both sides. TBH, I didn't notice for a long time and when I eventually realised what was going on, I was very upset. It become a terrible strain, especially at family occasions like Christmas etc. You become piggy-in-the-middle trying to keep everyone happy. I ended up really miserable over it. My dh is hard working, supportive, kind & considerate and it really upset me that they only noticed his (few) bad points and then magnified them by 500% !!!

Ask yourself this. Do your family have valid and justified reasons not to like him ?? Is his temper really out of control ??? I ask this because they are probably acting out of concern and are being over protective of you (this was the case with my family). If their reasons for disliking him aren't justified and your dh is wonderful in every other way .... then hold your head high, be strong and ride it out.

I got my dh to make more of an effort with my family. Even though he didn't need to prove anything, I just felt that if he didn't try to win them over then things would never change. Its taken a while, but things have improved a lot. I wish you luck, I really do because I know how hard it is

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