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Getting jealous and insane about the past

(16 Posts)
90210 Sun 31-Aug-08 18:04:13

My DP has been acting really odd lately and keeps bringing up stuff from the past that was even before we met. Like we went mental last night and made me tell him when the last time I had sex with my ex was. He started asking if I'd loved him and when I said "I don't know" he went nuts saying I was a fucking liar and a whore. But this was before I even knew DP. He's been doing it loads lately, one night he wouldn't let me go to sleep all night. This was because the night before we'd been talking about the daft things we'd done as teens and I mentiond that me and an ex (now this was when I was like, 15) stayed up for a whole night. so he made me do it just so he could say we'd done that too. Its driving me a bit mad. He's scaring me.

solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Aug-08 18:08:12

Uh oh. Firstly, this is abusive behaviour on his part, secondly it is so irrational that it suggests something bad going on in his life: drug use, mental health issue. Either way, if he's scaring you, one of you needs to leave the house for a bit. Can you go to a friend or relative for a couple of days? I don't want to be too alarmist but it would be a good idea to go while he is out of the house, then phone him to tell him that you need a break etc. Because sometimes men who are becoming dangerously possessive like this escalate immediately to violence if you suggest ending the relationship.

beanieb Sun 31-Aug-08 18:09:21

No violence but he's behaving in a posessive and inapropriate way. Do you live together?

dittany Sun 31-Aug-08 18:09:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carmenere Sun 31-Aug-08 18:11:00

Do you have dc's with this nutter man?

90210 Sun 31-Aug-08 18:11:12

he has thrown a hot cup of tea all over me. Said it was an accident. It all started because he listened in on a conversaion I was having with my friend about when we lost our virginity (just a stupid conversation) and I said I was 15 and when friend went home DP went nuts and slammed a door on me when I had two cups of tea straight from the kettle

90210 Sun 31-Aug-08 18:12:01

We've been together about 2 years. We have 1 ds but he was not there on any of these times. we do live together.

beanieb Sun 31-Aug-08 18:12:40

Do you live with him?

90210 Sun 31-Aug-08 18:13:24


Carmenere Sun 31-Aug-08 18:25:07

Well he sounds like a fucking creep to me. I would not put up with that shit and i don't think that you should either. He is a bully.

intolerant Sun 31-Aug-08 18:28:23

This would really, really worry me, I'm afraid. It's unacceptable on every level. I second what solidgoldbrass said. Initiate a conversation but only from a safe vantage point.

solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Aug-08 19:18:17

Contact Women's Aid as soon as possible. I am very concerned for you and your DS.

TotalChaos Sun 31-Aug-08 19:19:47

agree with solidgoldbrass. this is very very unpleasant(and abusive) behaviour.

FlightAttendent Sun 31-Aug-08 19:24:09

Get. Out. Now.

Please. sad

This man is dangerous. Whose is the house - yours or his?

FlightAttendent Sun 31-Aug-08 19:25:54

Fwiw I had an ex like this but got out before he started trying to injure me. He would storm out, shouting and swearing if I even dared to mention any other guy I had been friends with let alone anything else. Serious, serious problems.

Sorry it's taken him 2 years to let this side of him become apparent. That is awful for you and ds.

solidgoldbrass Sun 31-Aug-08 19:39:25

If the house is in your name, you can tell him to leave but I would strongly advise you to have a friend or relative present when you do so, and have the friend or relative stay with you until your partner is off the premises: telling an unacceptably possessive abusive man that you will not be controlled by him is the point when you are in the most danger: very many of these men react by trying to kill the woman who is ending the relationship.
If the house is in his name get your valuables together, this has been posted on similar threads but pack a bag with passports, birth certificates, bank details etc and some clothes for DS and yourself and get it out of the house, to a trusted friend. Then, if you have to, you can literaly pick up your DS and run in what you stand up in.

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