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h shouting and frightening 2 yr old ds

(10 Posts)
mymittens Sun 31-Aug-08 16:12:14

What would you do if your h shouted in front of your 2 yr old and the child was firghtened ? And also if he told ds he was going to take him somewhere and then because you annoyed him, he shouted back at you "you can look after him now, I'm not taking him out"

beanieb Sun 31-Aug-08 16:13:31

leave him!

mymittens Sun 31-Aug-08 16:15:27

I'm pretty sure this is what i have to do. I have an operation in a few days but i think as soon as I recover, we need to split up

deanychip Sun 31-Aug-08 16:15:31

i would be questioning how healthy the relationship is, and would be thinking seriously about what the future holds for myself and my child in such a relationship.

Is this a one off, or is this how your h is generally?

SpandexIsMyEnemy Sun 31-Aug-08 16:16:33

not nec leave him - how's the relationship in general.

what's he like in general with your DC?

mymittens Sun 31-Aug-08 16:17:36

i've got another post going to give you more of an idea of how things are. No this isn't a one off. And yes, i had been very annoying and difficult leading up to this incident but i think this crosses the line. h has been looking after ds most of the day and nearly always does when we have these rows cos i feel so bad

mymittens Sun 31-Aug-08 16:19:04

SME - 99% of the time he's v good with him

S1ur Sun 31-Aug-08 16:20:34

I don't know your history, but just on the basis of your husband shouting and being a twat I wouldn't end a marriage.

He was being a twat though, so he didn't take ds out to spite you?

And he shouted at his son?

The spiteful thing is mean and erm, spiteful, and also slightly odd and sad. Did he not really want to take ds out?

Shouting at his son - If happening regularly I'd want to talk to him and decide together an acceptable way to respond to behaviour. Remembering that 2yo is still very young for understanding acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

AbbeyA Sun 31-Aug-08 16:25:21

I would make him sit down and discuss it, make him aware that it is unacceptable and if he isn't willing to change then I would consider leaving him.I find the refusing to take DS out more worrying than the shouting.

mymittens Sun 31-Aug-08 16:29:42

H did take him out in the end after i said either he move the car seat and i take him or leave it inhis car and he take him. he wasn't actually shouting at ds, but at me, in front of him. I've told him it's unaccaeptable several times, but he thinks it was justified this time because he objected to me asking about swimming

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