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Help.Panic- DP just told me things are moving fast after he pushed for it!!About to get married.

(9 Posts)
shoot Sun 31-Aug-08 15:18:04

He's been weird lately. Really off with me. As I said on my other thread- he's guarding his phone with his life and there's just something wrong.

We're getting married next year and we have a baby. He proposed after 4 months together, everything was beautiful and we were so happy.

He was a gem while I was pregnant even though I was a hormonal nightmare. Then when we had the baby I was so proud- he was with me every step of the way, he looked after me and the baby afterwards.

Then he started a new job. 40 hours a week and he's obviously got new friends (met new women which bothers me a little). We've been rowing a lot and I worry.

Today he was going off to the shop where a lass works who he knows and she was having an affair with a bloke who had a pregnant g/f and worked with my DP whilst I was pregnant and that really winds me up. But he said this morning 'I could be going to the playboy mansion, no one would sway me from you. I love you' and I felt all fluffy and nice.

But he's still been off and weird all day. Then just before he mentioned when we start tryng for another baby (we're trying next April) and getting married next July. He went all smiley and I said i was excited and was he scared. I was just joking. But he said yes he is scared because it's moving so fast. So I said 'what too fast?' and he goes 'well no but very fast.'

He's been off with me every time I've mentioned looking forward to my wedding dress fitting tomorrow. But he was really excite when we booked the wedding (abroad). And HE proposed and said sod everyone who thinks it's too soon we love each other, we're happy and we'll be together forever. He wanted to try for a baby. He was excited when I got pregnant.

Now this.

What do I think?

Sam100 Sun 31-Aug-08 15:24:12

I think he is being quite a normal bloke - scared and trying to be honest with you - but that does not mean that he does not love you.

Had v dear friends who went thru this - he was scared and she said ok, cancel wedding but stay together, work on things - then couple of years down the line they married and are still v happy. Sounds like too much happening for him at the moment - ask him what is scaring him most wedding or new baby - maybe he is scared he cannot support another child and afford wedding? Would you consider delaying plans for another child to after the wedding?

BloodySmartarse Sun 31-Aug-08 15:25:12

i think it sounds all a bit of an exciting rollercoaster with the added 'thrill' that you just dont know for sure if it will work out... scary shit really.

if its any consolation, dp and i got together and moved in/conceived baby within 3 months and the whole world thought we'd crash and burn... we've been together now 6 yrs (5 yrs longer than ive ever been with anyone) and have 3 dc and we're v secure. still not actually gotten married (been engaged, ooh, 6 yrs!) but hey ho.

i think that you and he and the pair of you alone are the only people to really have any idea if its gonna work for you. listen to your instincts is my advice. but then, it always is tbh smile

hecate Sun 31-Aug-08 15:29:27

I think that you should not get married if there is anything unresolved between you. If there is anything either of you are unsure about, just put it all on hold. You can do it later, no point going ahead if both of you aren't 100% into it.

zippitippitoes Sun 31-Aug-08 15:29:54

no real advice but it seems a bit unwise to be having a wedding dress fitted now when you arent getting married till next july and you might be pregnant

norksinmywaistband Sun 31-Aug-08 15:31:57

Looking at your other thread, you obvoiusly have other concerns as well.

I would take a step back, sit down and have a long chat with DP and reevaulate where you are and what you both want for your future

norksinmywaistband Sun 31-Aug-08 15:31:57

Looking at your other thread, you obvoiusly have other concerns as well.

I would take a step back, sit down and have a long chat with DP and reevaulate where you are and what you both want for your future

HappyWoman Sun 31-Aug-08 16:39:59

depends what you want at the end of it - i am quite cunning so i would want to flush him out - pile on the quilt - but then in think i know my h so well that i would want to see him suffer before i knew the truth iyswim.

shoot Sun 31-Aug-08 22:45:27

Tonight he's been quite lovey dovey. But he's never interested in sex anymore but he still likes porn. I just don't get where we're at.

I asked him before and he said he loves how things are going, he loves me and he can't wait to get married.

So more confused now!

I remember ages ago he said getting married was a much bigger step than having a baby together... why would he say that?

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