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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dp being weird and guarding phone.

57 replies

shoot · 31/08/2008 13:07

Dps being weird with me. I can't put my finger on it.

And he takes his phone everywhere with him. He didn't want to leave it in the room with me last night. I said it was charging and when he went out I checked it and all the msgs were deleted.

Now I'm not saying he's cheating.

But just want some clarity.

OP posts:

Report

Mellowing · 31/08/2008 13:09

Trust your instinct.

scorpio1 · 31/08/2008 13:09

Did he always take it everywhere with him? Is any other behaviour changing - going out, more or less sex, ?

shoot · 31/08/2008 13:13

Much, much less sex. He's started working all the time. There are pretty women at his work.

Ive never thought he could cheat before. Have just noticed him being different at the mo.

OP posts:

mankymummy · 31/08/2008 13:16

you dont have an anniversary or birthday coming up? maybe he's planning a surprise.

check the call list too if you are suspicious, they often forget to delete that !

ThatBigGermanPrison · 31/08/2008 13:17

Ring him at work and ask to speak to him. ON the works phone, not his mobile - if he asks why, just say his mobile was out of signal.

mumblechum · 31/08/2008 13:17

Is the less sex your choice or his?

Men often do stray, unfortunately, when they're not getting regular shaggings.

Hope everything turns out to be ok.

scorpio1 · 31/08/2008 13:19

Could he be at work more because of a deadline, therefore tired and wants sex less? Maybe he doesn't think these girls are 'pretty'?

Does he get itemised bills?

shoot · 31/08/2008 13:20

Less sex is his choice. He just doesn't seem interested in me anymore. I'm only 23. He's 28.

He doesn't get itemised bills.

It is my birthday soon so I guess that's a possibility. The mood though?

OP posts:

elmoandella · 31/08/2008 13:21

could have just deleted messages as memory wa full. some phones without memory chips get full pretty quickly. especially if full of other stuff like ringtones,pictures and other media.

scorpio1 · 31/08/2008 13:22

I know my dh gets very moody when he is tired.

What do you think is going on?

shoot · 31/08/2008 13:25

I don't know. I'm quite confused.

We're getting married next year and every now and again I think we wont make it to the wedding because we'll have a HUGE row. The next second we say we were in the wrong, we're sorry and we love each other and then we get on great.

OP posts:

stirlingmum · 31/08/2008 13:35

Mumblechum - "Men often do stray, unfortunately, when they're not getting regular shaggings."!!

I am afraid it is irrelevant how many shags they get at home! If they fancy something else then they will go after it. Sad but true!

Ronaldinhio · 31/08/2008 13:42

What is it my brother says..sometimes you just fancy hamburger
Agree with Stirlingmum

But..please don't jump to any wild conclusions

Dominion · 31/08/2008 13:49

I behaved like that when I was having a bit of a text flirt with somebody. My phone always with me, I panicked if my partner were anywhere near it, and I would sneak off to text....

shoot · 31/08/2008 15:04

What sort of flirting? Anything that would have gone further? How did you meet the person?

OP posts:

ilovemydog · 31/08/2008 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mamazon · 31/08/2008 15:22

you must already suspect smoething or else you wouldn't have checked.

don't go snooping. just ask him why he is being so cagey.

HappyWoman · 31/08/2008 16:35

Do please trust your istincts

If you are not feeling completly happy about marriage then please say something.

And sorry to say it does not matter how much sex they are getting at home - men will rarely turn it down.

Have a new theory about that - as a woman i am pretty sure if i needed/wanted a shag i could get one if i went out on the pull - therefore the urge is not there iyswim. whereas with men they think they have won the lottery if they pull - so take it whenever it is offered - sad but true.

Dominion · 31/08/2008 16:36

Shoot, was that to me?

Very explicit. Saucy if you like. Met her online. Not looking for a flirt, but we got chatting, and one thing led to another. Then we met up. Then I put the brakes on, and I havent been in touch since. It does happen.

moopdaloop · 31/08/2008 16:40

this is a man you're going to marry and I assume you have children so there must be a relationship there. So why don't you admit to your suspicions and ask him outright?

ivykaty44 · 31/08/2008 16:41

Is the phone on "silent" mode?

shoot · 31/08/2008 22:42

His phone is always on silent mode. Strangely today is th first time in ages he's not been all possessive of it. I just can't imagine him cheating but I don't understand.

OP posts:

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MindingMum · 01/09/2008 11:55

just be aware that he may not have been guarding it yesterday because it was sunday - maybe a day when they are not in touch (perhaps at his request)

afraid i agree with Dominion - as i do the same but couldn't keep it up so now have two phones

Mamazon · 01/09/2008 11:56

minding mum - so yuo have 2 phones so that you can cheat?

heroicsavage · 01/09/2008 12:03

I never thought my dh would cheat on me but he ended up having an affair with his secretary (oh the cliche). He started turning his phone off and deleting messages, he always had an explanation for it to.
Check his delivery reports if you can.
I may be jaded but I would always go with my instincts now and delve further.
I also asked him outright and he said all was ok right up to the very moment he gave me the letter telling me how awful I was and he was leaving.

I really hope for you that he is not messing around and is there is a good explanation for his behaviour.

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