I'm pretty sure this is a problem with my attitude, rather than dh's behaviour, but I'm finding myself more and more irritated by his approach to the household and the children.
He's a very devoted father, plays with them, looks after them, does his share in terms of time spent. But he's incapable of doing anything other than looking after them - I went out yesterday and he must have stepped over the pile of dirty laundry in the bathroom at least ten times, but when I got home it was still there - his response was "you didn't ask me to do it". I had to leave full instructions about what to cook for lunch, and when I got home just before tea, he said "what are you giving them for tea?". He got up with ds this morning at 6am, went back to bed when I got up at 9am - toys everywhere (I'm not bothered about that), breakfast things everywhere, surfaces filthy, children not dressed.
It's driving me crazy - he always says "but if you just tell me what to do I'll do it" and he will, but I'm so sick of the telling. It's pretty obvious clothes need washing, children need dressing and feeding, etc etc. I am sick to the back teeth of being the one who organises everything to do with family life - his parents' birthday presents, the nanny, schools. If we go anywhere, it's entirely up to me to make sure we've got what we need for a day out. We both work - he is full time, I work 4 days but also at evenings and weekends to make it up to 5, so it's not like I'm sitting at home. It's spilling over into a more general resentment of him - and I'm fairly sure it's all linked to my sense that this is not a fair way of splitting responsibility.
Any practical suggestions would be very much appreciated. I love him to bits, but this is making me a very very mean person, and I can see it poisoning our relationship if I don't either get a grip or sort him out.
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Please save me from drowing in a swamp of frustration and resentment
20 replies
lordymaglordy · 31/08/2008 12:00
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