Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So I have met this truely AMAZING guy.....

(6 Posts)
charlotte121 Sun 31-Aug-08 11:36:18

everything about him seems great. We get along like a house on fire and talk for hours at a time on the phone. He loves my kids. He seems really genuine and nice and I would like to start seeing him. I want to take things really slow, get to know him really well before I commit to anything serious. It will be my first relationship since exp and will be a whole new game now as I have the kids to consider. I dont want to introduce them to him untill were definately a serious item. But he is coming on a little bit too strong. I dont quite know how to describe it.... Its all a bit too much IYKWIM. I have been in a really bad relationship and treated like crap so this is a totally new experiance for me but its all too much too soon, Im not used to a guy being so nice to me and I have told him this. I have only known him a few weeks. How do I get him to back off a little bit. I dont want him to think im not interested because there is a real spark between us but at the same time this is all a little bit too intense for me and moving more quickly than I want it to.
He is the type of guy I can chat to about anything so I know I can tell him, I just dont quite know how to put it to him. Im not sure of the right words to use with out making him feel hurt or like im not interested. any ideas???

lulumama Sun 31-Aug-08 11:47:11

tell him what you have said here: you like him, there is a spark, but it is too much too soon..... you have two very young children who are your focus.. and with all respect to him,, he does not 'love' your kids, he probably thinks they are lovely and sweet though

tell him you are still recovering from the horror of your last relationship and you need time and space to heal and you will be glad of his support

if he blows you out, he is not that amazing

charlotte121 Sun 31-Aug-08 12:05:41

Lol... yeh loves was the wrong word to use. He seems fond of them lol. I feel a bit bad, its just that now it comes to it im not sure Im ready for another serious relationship yet. I dont have a problem if it builds up into one.... I just think it would be foolish to jump in at the deepend after the last relationship i had.

lulumama Sun 31-Aug-08 12:07:32

you are right... your baby is , what, 3 months old? you need time! if he wants to stick around and be a friend and a support and see how things develop that is great, the last thing you need is a full on love thang !

charlotte121 Sun 31-Aug-08 12:14:58

lmao at "love thang!"
I dont mind having him as a bf but I would prefer it to be casual at first. It can be "upgraded" to a more serious relationship further down the line. Dd is nearly 3 months now, but i have been single for about 6 or 7 months. I think I shall chat to him about this tonight when he rings. I dont want to lead him on.... its unfair. best to be honest and open I think.

lulumama Sun 31-Aug-08 12:15:33

grin honest and open is always the way to go

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: