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Is it unreasonable to bring up a list of complaints when you are out with DH for the evening becuase it is the only chance you get?!!

(8 Posts)
aleene Sat 30-Aug-08 15:24:25

Makes me sound a right cow, doesn't it?
But I am mad at him for about 3 reasons and we are only going out because I got the tickets for this about 6 weeks ago.
I should probably wait until tomorrow shouldn't I? But he just fobs me off with excuses and then nothing changes. Plus he will expect the evening to end in a certain way and I am so not in the mood and perhaps this might make him realise I am serious.
Rambling, sorry.

mumblechum Sat 30-Aug-08 15:59:35

You'll just spoil what could be a nice evening.

complain to him some other time. You never know, if you have a nice evening out you may not be so grumpy smile

Marina Sat 30-Aug-08 16:08:22

Have a relaxing time together tonight if you can but book a time soon to have a Chat.

It is a shame to waste money on tickets and spoil the evening by disagreeing, but I think couples with young dcs do need time away from the routine to discuss things that are bugging them, together, before it all gets really entrenched and miserable.

KerryMum Sat 30-Aug-08 16:09:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch Sat 30-Aug-08 16:15:30

This isn't great advice but I can tell you that I would be incapable of keeping my feelings to myself: if there was a festering sore of resentment about something there's nfw I'd be able to keep it to myself on an evening out (or in!) with dh. Is there any way you could sort it out but without resorting to an argument about it? (Not that I'm great at this either, I am likely to blurt "I'm FURIOUS about xyz but dh is eminently reasonable and will say OK let's talka bout it rather than retaliating, which makes him much more grown up than me!).

So perhaps you could say "look, we've got some time, can I tell you how I'm feeling about xxx?" And I think he should know that when you're unhappy and have simmering resentments you're not particularly interested in sex - totally reasonable, why would you want to have sex with someone you're angry with?

I think actually, if you're going to sort it out, a night out is as good a time as any but I think you should think about what you want etc and see if you can make it a resolving kind of conversation rather than a fight. Good luck.

WideWebWitch Sat 30-Aug-08 16:17:18

Also, how serious are the 3 things? Does he know about them? What has he said he'll do? I'm not suggesting you tell us lot the answers to these questions but I think you should think about them before you go out.

Marina Sat 30-Aug-08 16:18:16

I am a great blurter too www and as my dh is not as evolved as yours I have learned that for everyone's long-term satisfaction the only way is to allude to festering resentment and notionally book a time to rip his head off discuss it over a cuppa wink

zippitippitoes Sat 30-Aug-08 16:18:55

but if you have tickets then you will be watching something wont you would have to bring things up after or on the way there

which sounds less doable

i think it depends what the grievances are

as a general idea i think its better to have the arguments at the time rather than sit on them

where is he now cant you have the chat now and then go for a drink before the show and kiss and make up [idealist emoticon]

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