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how do I get him to get some help?

(4 Posts)
Gingededinge Fri 29-Aug-08 23:43:47

Out of the blue tonight DH started quizzing me about why I used to do circuits with a friend (male). This ended in a stupidly protracted argument/ discussion about trust issues in which he said that he wanted to get DD (nearly 3) DNA tested (am I on Jeremy Kyle?), called me a bi**ch, said that he hated me for my past, I was so lucky that he has put up with everything that I had given him.

Been together for 4.5 years - said circuits was 4 years ago - all platonic. He asked me to stop going and although I was emabarassed to admit to myself I was 'doing what I was told', I eventually told friend that I was stopping our circuits meeting for a quiet life.

DH from almost-middle-eastern country. Me: loyal woman who has had some relationships before I got married i.e. normal. Never even thought about anyone else since we met.
I have always told him that I will never be disloyal - if I want to leave him it will not be because I am with somone else.

DH not much of a talker - how do I get him to address his serious trust issues. We bumble on OK most of the time but occaisonal outbursts occur. Usually irrational and paranoid. I know this is a big skeleton in our closet and that it could undo us and I am not prepared to be attacked like this when I have not done anything but try to be a good wife and Mum.

Help! Please!

aleene Sat 30-Aug-08 01:29:56

Sorry I'm not sure what to advise but his lack of trust seems very worrying.
For what is worth I think that calling you names is horrible and unacceptable.
I'm guessing that it would be impossible to get him to come along to Relate to get to the bottom of these issues.
Hope someone comes along soon with better advice.

Gingededinge Sat 30-Aug-08 09:42:47

Thanks aleene.

I am going to try to get him to go to some sort of talking therapy. I called his employer helpline last night and they can get a few sessions to help me think about stuff which is good.

aleene Sat 30-Aug-08 15:18:17

That sounds like a good first step. How are things today at home?

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