Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

sleeping in separate rooms?

(9 Posts)
yummytummy Wed 27-Aug-08 09:24:32

hey, just some thoughts about what u think. often when me and dh have a fight he will go off to spare room to sleep. i actually sleep better without the snoring etc, do u think its ok to sleep separately on a long term basis if everything else ok in relationship and still intimate in all other ways?

NotDoingTheHousework Wed 27-Aug-08 09:32:42

Message withdrawn

Guadalupe Wed 27-Aug-08 09:40:00

We have spent quite a lot of time sleeping apart over the last twelve years, either due to work times, children, snoring, periods of arguing etc. It is fine, and it shouldn't make too much difference but there is something quite important about sleeping together as well.

You don't have the intimacy or the comfort in the same way. There's something a bit odd about saying goodnight to each other at the top of the stairs, or having sex and then going to seperate rooms. This is just my experience of it and someone else might find it makes no difference but we are defnitely closer when we share a bed, and dh snores like a farm vehicle!

Jazzicatz Wed 27-Aug-08 09:42:28

My dp doesn't snore and we still sleep separately. We have done that since the birth of our second ds.

Can't say that I am overly pleased with it but I do like my own space, which I get from sleeping alone.

lilacclaire Wed 27-Aug-08 10:24:14

If you are both in agreement with it, and everything else is fine then I don't see why not.

My ex and I had seperate bedrooms, this came about after we had an arguement one night and I slept in spare room. We both agreed we both had a much better sleep and it stayed like that (that is not why we split up btw).

I remember my gran and papa had seperate rooms and my dp's parents have seperate rooms also.

It might be a big issue for some people but not for others.

slavemum Wed 27-Aug-08 10:45:59

I would LOOOVE to have my own bed!

No getting woken up by dh snoring, or not being able to get to sleep cos of his farting/ ball scratching/ sniffing. Always having more than 3 inches of bed to try and sleep on cos he's had a few and has passed out star shaped face down in the middle of the bed and won't effing move!!angry

Sorry...didn't get much sleep last night. Rant over.

If the two of yow are happy with sleeping apart, then why not? smile

thebecster Wed 27-Aug-08 10:50:13

I knew three couples who did sleep separately long term. All said it was for reasons of practicality (snoring, shift work, co-sleeping). All said it worked really well, made no difference to their relationship. All three are now divorced. Now this is pretty tiny as statistical samples go - just three couples out of the millions around the world... And none of them would have cited sleeping in different rooms as having anything to do with why they split up further down the line.

But I do think there's something about being in the same room at night that is a bonding, goes beyond just sex (although I should imagine you'd have less sex if you had to get up & look for it...) It's the little talks you have at 2am, it's having a cuddle when you first wake up... But nobody knows what makes somebody else's relationship work, least of all me. I wouldn't do it in my relationship though.

branflake81 Wed 27-Aug-08 11:07:04

I sleep on the sofa if I have insomnia and do find I get a better night's sleep but sometimes my DP will come and get me in the night because he misses me!

BeachBunni Wed 27-Aug-08 11:18:50

We've been sleeping in separate rooms for the last couple of months and although I do miss that intimacy, I also love it. Dp snores and sweats really badly so I'm not biting his head off the next day through lack of sleep. We've also just had a ds so we kinda feel like we need our sleep more now. Sometimes start off in the same bed but as soon as he wakes me up snoring like a wilderbeast, I throw the head up and move into the other bedroom.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: