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ahother codly q about divorces

(74 Posts)
ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 17:13:33

have you ever( those who haev married a divorcee) ahd a horribel momeny where you totally see hwy the first wife hated him?
ie " my first wife hated xyz"

then you think
yes i do too


Fabeelo Mon 25-Aug-08 17:20:01

Oh I have a great tale of history repeating itself I will totally get recognised for.

I think of it as the Oh Shit Sherlock moment.

Beware a single father of several who is charming and personable. He will shite all over you in your hour of need.

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 17:20:45

i wonder if leopards to change their spots
or antother lady leopardwink is more willing ot put up wiht it

nkf Mon 25-Aug-08 17:23:27

I'm not in this position but I know someone who was so relieved when her husband went off with another woman. The other woman, oddly enough, was rather annoyed about the relief. Now, several years later, the other woman, now wife tries to initiate conversations about her husband's "issues." He was and is an absolute nightmare of a man. So I expect she found herself in the situation you describe.

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 17:25:13


Fabeelo Mon 25-Aug-08 17:25:39

In my story it came as a total shock. (not me, a pal)

The leopard did not change his spots.
He will spot all over another woman before long.

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 17:26:44

or do they just behva badly becuase they all hate each other

ChippyMinton Mon 25-Aug-08 17:27:51


ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 17:29:37

oh come on fess up
i want stories

ChippyMinton Mon 25-Aug-08 17:31:46

Although I suspect whoever has my ex-DH will have several such moments, bless him.

possiblymaybe Mon 25-Aug-08 18:04:44

Sadly I've went through it myself recently.

When I met my now ex he sold me a story of meeting his first wife too oyung, growing apart after they had children etc

When I've asked how they split he told me he felt so alienated (?) in his own house that he just lost it one day and ex-wife asked hom to leave. My stupid 26 y old self didn't questioned what his'losing it'meant.

I've found out after we had our child...

He coudn't stand not to be a centre of an attention and kept losing it with me all the time (breaking things, threatning me , swearing, drinking etc)..

I'm sure his ex must have felt sorry for me ..(we met several years after they divorced)

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 18:15:05

oh god really?
that si NOT a good expereince, poor you
did oyu ever see ex again

Swedes Mon 25-Aug-08 18:21:31

When you meet someone who has been in a long relationship (married or not) that has recently broken down you should listen incredibly carefully to the details of the ex's complaints.

He says: "She said she is sick of my lists and over-organising but I'm just trying to be helpful" etc.

possiblymaybe Mon 25-Aug-08 18:27:31

I try to see him for a sake of our dd who is stil very small, SKL

Although how did I manage not to hire some russian hitmen (apologies to any russian person reading it) yet to get rid of him is beyond me

the bastard completly deceived me .. Never allawed me to meet his ex..even when dropping his children to stay with us she's always left them in the street..

wondering now if ex was making sure we never meet so she couldn't update me on his less appealing characteristics..

possiblymaybe Mon 25-Aug-08 18:28:31


ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 19:08:56

god that IS interesging

so if bil says to his new omwan that my sister " was controlling" that means " she woudlnt let me haev mulitple affiars"

edam Mon 25-Aug-08 19:14:44

Not quite the same, but when I was a teenager I used to have LOTS of conversations with my stepmother about my father's more irritating amusing foibles. And come home and tell my mother. Oh, how she used to chortle.

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 19:18:25

good work cheese

humanbean Mon 25-Aug-08 19:25:54

My h's xp used to say he slept with prostitues. I didn't believe her - thought she was trying to be bitchy. (she was a total nightmare in every respect)

But now he has Run Away to shag prostitutes.

She also said he "can't cope with pressure" -fantastic understatement as it turned out.

Of course he must be lying to whoever he meets now - sahgs/friends/whoever...I mean I doubt he's telling people he has three kids by two women, one of them his wife, with whom he has a small baby and to whom he is still married.

So yes I agree with Fabeelo - "Beware a single father of several who is charming and personable. He will shite all over you"

fabeelo, you don't live in bangland do you? grin sounds like he might be the same twunt

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 25-Aug-08 19:28:04

Message withdrawn

ShittyCatsLawyer Mon 25-Aug-08 19:39:51

THIS IS SO FREAKY ODD and interesting
how amazingly decpetive these men are

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 25-Aug-08 19:47:42

Message withdrawn

bodiddly Mon 25-Aug-08 19:51:33

I would be intrigued to see what dp's ex wife would've said about him. She was the one that cheated though and he left her as a result ... having put up with it a few times. His whole family tell tales of what she was like though

Swedes Tue 26-Aug-08 10:57:49

Men say things like this:

She never wanted to have sex
She was always complaining - so much so that I didn't want to go home
She didn't tidy-up the house
She was not strict enough with the children
She never wanted to go out.

Any new woman should refrain from thinking "Poor him - she sounds so unloving" and think

Why didn't she not want to have sex
Why was she complaining
WHy didn't he tidy up
Why were the children entirely her responsiblity
Was she depressed

charliecat Tue 26-Aug-08 11:04:01

"Beware a single father of several who is charming and personable. He will shite all over you"

Is this an actual someone? Or have you generalised.

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