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What would you do...

(8 Posts)
neva Sat 23-Aug-08 10:09:31

Met a man last year through a club we both belong to. He seems like a good person, we have a lot in common and are both single. From time to time he calls me and I do enjoy our conversations (he has a gorgeous voice!). When we're speaking, I almost think I could go out with him. However, face to face I realise there is no chemistry.

It would be great if we could go out from time to time as friends; but past experience tells me it would lead to an awkward situation with me having to break it to him that I don't want more...

He regularly asks me to go places with him, to which I make excuses. Probably he does see me as a potential girlfriend. My question is: is it possible to be friends in this type of situation? Any ideas? Thanks.

loopylou6 Sat 23-Aug-08 10:16:57

i dont think sos adley, he would always be wanting more, and you going out with him would raise his hopes, and he'd always be looking at you in 'that' way

feedmenow Sat 23-Aug-08 10:34:21

Depends how honest you are. By the sounds of it you have nothing to lose, so couldn't you just tell him outright that you'd love to go out as mates but that they'll never be anything else to it?

neva Sat 23-Aug-08 10:44:48

Yes loopylou, putting myself in his situation if someone I liked agreed to go out with me even just for a cup of coffee I know it would keep me hoping... Feedmenow, part of my problem is that I am really hopeless at being direct. It is a shame as we have such a lot to talk about and I could do with more friends atm, suspect he could, too

Lazarou Sat 23-Aug-08 11:09:54

Just make it clear there will be no rumpy pumpy ever, but I wouldn't be so quick to call off the friendship as you do like him.

Lazarou Sat 23-Aug-08 11:11:57

I have a friend a bit like this, only I did end up doing the deed with him after a drunken night out. I left next morning before he woke up. We are still friends though.

CarGirl Sat 23-Aug-08 11:13:42

I would go places with him and see how it goes, if there is still zero chemistry after a few times then tell him that there isn't but you really appreciate his friendship (send him a note if you can't say it).

Chemistry isn't always instant IME!

neva Sat 23-Aug-08 11:36:57

Thanks all. I can't totally call off the friendship anyway as we see each other regularly. Will try to be honest with him though

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