I left my x 14 months ago, he is extremely bitter and angry and still regularly bombards me with vile e-mails. He has visited the children about 7 times since we left.
If I'm honest, I am happy that he only comes ever 9 or ten wks or so. I dread his visits and I'm not encouraging him to be more involved. When he comes I rarely see him because my Mum does the 'handover'. He was very controlling and agressive, and I feel FREE of him. It is a weight off my shoulders which I still feel. I still regularly feel amazed I was brave enough to leave him.
SO... DO I ask him for money? He puts £1 a month in to my account each month. (he earns 70k) I have been managing up 'til now, with the help of my parents and brother.
But, the children are getting older and their needs are becoming more than just toys and food. My son has been accepted into a school that is about 20 miles away. It's a specialised school for children who don't speak and children with Aspergers. It would be great for him. There are SALTS and OTs there, and ratio of 3 adults to 8 children.
But I can't afford a car. I have been going over this in my mind for days now. Months really.
What would YOU do wise mumsnetters? I KNOW that he is their father and should pay some money towards their upbringing and education. BUT, I can't bear him and any contact or dealings with him make me physically sick. Literally, one of the e-mails he sent me recently, mocking me and belittling me and comparing me to more successful members of my family .. it made cry and get a headache and then I had a terrible cold. Not a coincidence.
I put this in relationships not lone parents because I don't think being a lone parent is relevant. It's the 'do I want to link myself/be beholden to somebody who makes me physically ill' aspect that is relevant here..
Also this thread will disappear in 90 days ! And he has in the past been known to find things I wrote on internet.
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Do I ask him for Money or not?
14 replies
AmyWinehousesMum · 22/08/2008 10:14
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