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My sister has left her dh. I feel so sad about it as I don't really understand what has happened.

(5 Posts)
suiledonn Thu 21-Aug-08 12:13:56

My younger sister has been married for nearly 10 years. She got married quite young after what you could call a whirlwind romance. Her sh is the lovliest guy you could meet and they always seemed very happy together. In recent years he has struggled a bit with issues from his childhoodand ended up having a breakdown. He went to counselling and went on ADs and things seemed a lot better. This had caused some problems for them at first but they went to counseling together and seemed to work things out. Last year they started TTC and were really excited at first. However the months passed without success and then all of a sudden she rang me and said she had moved out. She didn't want to talk about it so I just made sure she was ok and left it for a while. I have since talked to her about it and she doesn't even seem clear in her own mind about what she wants. Then I got a chance to see her dh alone and he is so sad about everything. He said she has become really bitter and angry towards him and he doesn't understand why. Nothing he does is right and she won't help him to see what is going on. I feel awful for him.

I know she doesn't owe me an explanation but I wish I knew what was going on. Should I talk to her again and tell her what her dh told me or just stay out of it? I am so worried about them both.

skidoodle Thu 21-Aug-08 13:01:33

stay out of it browneyes. If you go in saying what you want to say you will sound like you're on his side.

Talk to her again and tell her you'll support her no matter what and you just want her to be happy.

MascaraOHara Thu 21-Aug-08 13:04:36

has she met someone else? suddenly seeing faults in your partner and not knowing what you want anymore are often signs of infidelity.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 21-Aug-08 13:07:54

Ah. Lots of "he said/she said".

You really need to stay out of it as far as fault and reason is concerned. Just be there to support them both.

Sounds like they've both had a pretty rough few years.

PinkTulips Thu 21-Aug-08 13:08:22

sounds like the failure to conceive triggered a bout of depression.

don't go in saying you've spoken to her dh but i would try and get her to talk and if she opens up suggest she get some councelling about it all.

it sounds like she felt rotton about not being able to conceive and projected her own feelings of failure onto her dh.... trying to make it his fault (when in fact it's no ones 'fault' merely mother nature being stubborn)

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