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Just packed mine and DC's bags to leave, I'm so...

(7 Posts)
TotallyFeckedOff Thu 21-Aug-08 11:33:31

fecked off with DH. It is all crap (mostly financially) and feel we have screwed our lives up. I am fed up of him losing his temper with me and treating me like a second class citizen because I don't go out to work. He can't control his anger and scares the boys. I don't want to be here anymore but I've nowhere else to go really sad

I just want to screaaaaam!

sorry for venting

Rhonds Thu 21-Aug-08 12:01:33


squeaver Thu 21-Aug-08 12:03:59

Bumping for you as I don't have experience/expertise in this area but lots of people on here do. Have you spoken to Women's Aid?

Really hope things get better for you soon.

ConstanceWearing Thu 21-Aug-08 12:05:45

Screaming and shouting helps to shift the blame from one to another, but it doesn't exactly cure the problem, eh?

Perhaps it will be a wake up call for him to get the proper help you both need with your problems.

However, be careful that is what you really want to do, because some bridges burn behind you, and it would be awful if you made a mistake only to regret it later.

Have you left a note or anything to explain your frustration with things as they are?

TotallyFeckedOff Thu 21-Aug-08 15:50:57

Thanks for your messages. I am going to make a decision tomo. He doesn't hit me or anything terrible like that but does lose his rag a bit too frequently and throw and punch things which scares the children.

He went to speak to a counsellor about his temper (after I last told him enough was enough), who apparently told him it was all my fault and there was nothing he could do, as we needed joint counselling hmm, which DH won't do.

He is very controlling with money; I don't have a penny to my name unless I ask him for it, he leaves me a pittance to buy groceries with (£20 this week) and complains about the repetition of meals and the nutritional content - we eat mostly vegetables! He doesn't have much money I realise, but there always seems to be enough for the pub several nights each week and for his hobbies.

Any time I tell him I have had a tough day, he just says it was my choice and if I don't like it I should go back to work.

It seems like we have so many issues, I don't know if we can turn it around.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 21-Aug-08 16:08:08

Message withdrawn

dippyrascal Thu 21-Aug-08 16:21:51

I really feel for you, his behaviour is unacceptable. Please try and get some counselling on your own which will help you put the relationship dynamic into perspective, the counsellor will help you to see the bigger picture and hopefully give you the strength you need to deal with it. If you have somewhere to go in the meantime to give yourself some space to breathe then do, it sounds like the tension at home is pretty unbearable and although he doesn't hit you his behaviour sounds aggressive and controlling.

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