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Worried about sex with new man.. hoping sex experts out there might reassure me..

(43 Posts)
mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:17:54

Ladies, you may find this funny and I don't know if this is the right place for this - but I am seeing a new man - totally in love etc. - but I am really worried about having sex with him.

I gave birth to ds 2 years ago, and new man has a lovely but quite small and very slim penis. To put it bluntly - I'm worried it won't even touch the sides! blush

Have been doing pelvic floor exercises and everything - but I am so concerned about disappointing him.

Any words of wisdom very welcome..

Dropdeadfred Wed 20-Aug-08 13:23:02

did you ever have problems with you ex after the birth of your ds?
if you use tampax now do they ever fall out or leak abnormally?

I think you are worrying abiut nothing - honestly!!

Northumberlandlass Wed 20-Aug-08 13:24:56

Ah - I had to respond! I don't want you to go unanswered. You are in love with each other - you will not disappoint him !

and I don't think you are going to know until he's inside you (sorry - if too blunt)if he 'touches the sides'.

Is it just his size (lack of) that is worrying you or something else ?

I did believe that after my DS my Foof was like an old wellie top blush - but it wasn't. phew.

I don't know if any of that has helped.


SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 20-Aug-08 13:26:47

new beau says if he's not happy/disappointed then he's obsessed with sex!

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:28:03

Thanks - God this IS embarassing - didn't have problems after birth - but ex was much bigger - and tbh we hardly did it after ds!

Don't use tampons - but I erm.. have had to use Tena ladies on and off iykwim.

Probably am panicking too much - but I would just hate him to feel let down or inadequate.

abouteve Wed 20-Aug-08 13:29:22

I think he may disappoint you grin.

Seriously unless its unusually tiny I don't think you will have a problem.

I only remember once having sex with someone and I honestly couldn't feel it at all. Been told I'm quite narrow. I didn't worry that it was my fault.

Northumberlandlass Wed 20-Aug-08 13:30:51

I know this is embarassing for you and you are obviously nervous about it, but I'm a bit jealous ! Having sex with someone new is great, especially when you love them.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy


zippitippitoes Wed 20-Aug-08 13:31:46

im sure he will be happy

you might be disappointed?

i think getting clothes off in front of new man is the hard part

presumably you have already done that hmm

Overmydeadbody Wed 20-Aug-08 13:33:21

As long as he is talented in other areas and knows how to please you don't worry about it.

It is his problem if he has a small penis, not yours!grin

(ps are you really in love with someone you haven't actually had sex with yet? How does that work?)

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:34:57

Now you have made me

He's so lovely - and he's really confident too - probably loads of hidden issues on my part here.

Overmydeadbody Wed 20-Aug-08 13:35:49

but as zippi says, you will probably be disappointed. Nothing worse than not even knowing if it's in or not!

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:40:48

I can answer that - we have been taking this very slowly - unusual for me that! He has been able to please me in lots of other ways though - so don't worry about that.

He does have quite a stressful job in the police service and has been on ADs for a while - coming off them now - and this has added to his erm.. 'tumescence problem' as he calls it.

You are right though - we fancy each other like mad - shouldn't be a problem - I just want things to be perfect and am rather inexperienced with.. slim willies

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:41:56

omdb - this is what I dread - don't want to have to fake it or fib to him..

Northumberlandlass Wed 20-Aug-08 13:45:19

Inexperienced with slim willies !!! Lucky you.


SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 20-Aug-08 13:46:56

ahem, well, XH is huge! (wouldn't tell him that thou)! and was worried about finding someone who would ahem 'make the grade' but you know what - it's not fair ont he bloke to compare the size of his to your x's - althou to be fair the bloke who I was with a wile back was well - found wanting - was small, (a lot), and it well, wasn't used in the right manner! current beau however isn't mahoosive, it's a nice size - but the key thing is he knows how to use it.

(am talking about never having the 'O' with XH unless it was manual prior to penetration - but with new beau it's well - everytime, and fantastic) blush ahem.

anyhow enjoy your new man, you've done the worst bit by getting undressed I reckon, and as long as he's concerned about pleasing you as well as his own pleasure, and like wise you are you should be fine.

Overmydeadbody Wed 20-Aug-08 13:47:05

no need to fake or fib, just make sure he pleases you in other ways first, or failing that, just pleasure yourself while he is penetrating you. Answer solved grin

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 13:55:03

thank you lovely ladies - feeling better already


ILovePudding Wed 20-Aug-08 14:02:41

IMO it doesn't matter that you've had two children, or that he has a slim penis. Sex with a new partner is always going to feel different than it did with your last and you just have to experiment a bit with different positions to find the one(s) that work for you both.

You lucky girl! Have fun grin

abouteve Wed 20-Aug-08 14:38:46

Spandex envy

SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 20-Aug-08 15:18:11

lol. about eve - ok trick is - u on top, and you legs tight to his boy, and basically lean back a bit blush ooh yes! (helps if the man can kiss I reckon as well!)

Northumberlandlass Wed 20-Aug-08 15:43:39

sounds good Spandex grin

I also like the reverse cowboy...him sitting up slightly (preferably on a sofa), pulling you down on to him, your hand is free to have a play with yourself !

I'm now blush


SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 20-Aug-08 15:45:00

am yet to try that one on the sofa like that - reverse cowboy?? - you face away from him and stradle?

(oh the things to talk about of an afternoon! - still DS is with his nan and it's light relief from my studys!)

Northumberlandlass Wed 20-Aug-08 15:55:20

Yep, that's it. It gets very jiggly... well I do cos I have jiggly bits.

Yee ha !

mummynewname Wed 20-Aug-08 18:41:57

you GIRLS!!

Just so I'm sure - are these positions good for him, you or both!?

(don't fancy reverse cowboy much - not my best side )

zippitippitoes Wed 20-Aug-08 18:43:15

no idea my only possible position is flat on my back any other and i look pants

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