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Please analise this and tell me if I'm stupid to believe it

(65 Posts)
makemeanon Tue 19-Aug-08 22:48:45

DH teaches a martial art class. Last night after his class he didn't come home all night, this has happened before but only when we've been having troubles and he's gone off to his brothers or something.

Anyway I got a text from him and 10.10pm saying he was ok and not to worry, he'd got stuck in the school and was awaiting the caretaker to come and let him out hmm hmm this to me sounded ridiculous but I text back and asked how long he'd be. He replied "don't know, could take a while, caretaker lives in (next village), don't wait up, I'll be fine".

So to cut a long story short he arrived home at 5am shock hmm. I didn't believe him at all so contacted the actual caretaker and made up some story about DH leaving something there when he left 'this morning'. Caretaker seemed to know that DH hadn't left the school until the morning but said he'd been stuck there with a young lady and did I know if she was ok hmm

Turns out he'd stayed in the school all night with one of his young students. All innocently apparantly but I've had worries about her before. Texting him about stupid stuff and seemingly lusting over him.

Caretaker finished by saying it was lucky DH found his own key but thought he was daft to stay there so long "surely he couldve found it before 4am" he said.

This whole story sounds a load of bullshit to me. What do you reckon?

olympicsnotfederer Tue 19-Aug-08 22:49:55

if this is real, it is bullshit

Seabright Tue 19-Aug-08 22:50:28

How old is the "young lady"? What has made you concerned in the past?

Sounds suspect to me

LynetteScavo Tue 19-Aug-08 22:51:54

He found his key at 4am hmm

I agree, it sounds more than odd.

How young is young?

Ewe Tue 19-Aug-08 22:51:59

Big ole load of bullshit.

makemeanon Tue 19-Aug-08 22:53:11

The young lady is in her mid 20s. DH is in his mid 40s.

In the past she has stayed behind the class to ask stupid questions. Text him to ask stuff she could have asked in class. She gets really embarrassed when he talks directly to her, just loads of little stuid stuff that on its own we probably wouldn't notice but when it adds to a full picture it paints a bleak one. DH has even laughed along at this and called her his "stalker".

vector Tue 19-Aug-08 22:54:30

I can understand why you are concerned. Did DH mention to you that the girl was there or has he failed to tell you this? You are in a difficult situation now as DH will know you have mistrusted him by you contacting the caretaker. Have you got any reason to suspect he would be lying to you, are you having any problems in your relationship at the moment? I can understand why you are concerned.

makemeanon Tue 19-Aug-08 22:57:05

He said it wasn't just him that was trapped but didn't mention it was just him and her. If I ask why he'll just say "I knew how you'd react".

No real reason to suspect other than the odd story and the fact that I can't see the two of them sitting up all night in a deserted school talking about the weather.

He has flirted with other women in the past and I'm sure he has with her too.

tiredlady Tue 19-Aug-08 22:57:57

Total shit.

I think he is lying.

NotAnOtter Tue 19-Aug-08 23:00:07


KerryMum Tue 19-Aug-08 23:00:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bethoo Tue 19-Aug-08 23:01:33

sorry but this sounds as though if nothing has happened then it will. i used to stay behind to talk to my instructor because i fancied him and yes i did end up having sex with him. no i am not in my mid 20s, this happened several years ago.

vector Tue 19-Aug-08 23:11:05

Hummm, I'm sorry but I tend to agree that if nothing has happened yet there is likely to be some tension in the air between them that will turn into something if it is not defused. The problem is for you that if you confront him you have no real evidence at the moment, he can deny it and say you dont trust him ort are over reacting (as thats what they all say!) I wonder how you can get him out of the situation/ get rid of the girl or step up things between you two some how so he is distracted! People don't generally look elsewhere unless something is wrong with where they are at so I guess you need to find out what his problem is. Men, why do we bother?

3amigos Wed 20-Aug-08 12:22:20

In all honesty it does seem kinda odd. And he txt you? He didnt even ring? That to me makes it real odd. Bit of a coincidence that it be those two and ONLY those two in there. Id be very uncomfortable myself about it-given that youve already had issues where shes concerned. In the past when hes not come home do you honestly know where hes been? Do you think hes cheated on you before?

3amigos Wed 20-Aug-08 12:25:07

What was he like when he got home? Was he acting at all shifty? How would you describe your relationship in general?

Overmydeadbody Wed 20-Aug-08 12:25:16

He is lying, obviously.

The story stinks of bullshit.

Overmydeadbody Wed 20-Aug-08 12:26:17

So he had a key, but didn't think to use it till 4am?hmm

People are perfectly capable of cheaitng ang lying without looking in any way shifty too.

3amigos Wed 20-Aug-08 12:41:23

Maybe. Id just like to think that i myself would be able to spot something not right in a persons behavior. Depends what kinda person they are doesnt it? Generally decent-with the relationship being good,or just a total arse anyway. There are very good liars out there but doesnt it also depend on what you want to believe? If theres no trust a lie cant be pulled off anyway. Surely? And deep down dont our instincts tell us the truth?

ThatBigGermanPrison Wed 20-Aug-08 12:43:36

He's lying and he has cheated on you.

tiredemma Wed 20-Aug-08 12:46:22

sounds like a story Sid James would conjour up in some rancid carry on film.

cocolepew Wed 20-Aug-08 12:51:32

He's full of shit, that's not even a good story.

Neeerly3 Wed 20-Aug-08 12:56:50

100% bullshit - something like being locked in a school is a big deal, it warrants a phone call - "babe, you'll never guess whats happened, I'm locked in at school, so and so is with me and so far we finding it funny! we've called the caretaker and he's on his way, so don't worry OK!"

then update calls when the caretaker didn't arrive (why didn't he arrive btw? surely its his job to go let people out if they are locked in) don't text your WIFE when something like that happens, you text your wife when you bored in a meeting and can't make a call for example or if you know ringing would wake your kids up.

Anyhoo, he's lying far too many flaws in the story, even without you ringing the caretaker and getting his story, you could pick holes in what he's said. Confront him.

ib Wed 20-Aug-08 12:58:20

If dh had been in this situation when he was teaching ma he would have called me and begged me to go get the key to get him out - he always said that being in certain situations with 'stalker groupies' is just too dangerous and not worth it.

...which is why I've been dragged invited along to so many ma events in the past....but that's another thread.

jelliebelly Wed 20-Aug-08 12:59:41

He is lying and using the caretaker as cover - not very convincingly.

SueMunch Wed 20-Aug-08 13:03:06

Sounds like the script from a seventies porno.

Has this school got no windows that he could have climb out of?

Also, presumably the school has fire doors that cannot be locked.

An absolute work of second-rate fantasy if you ask me.

What next - I got stick in the lift at work with a secretary and had to stay with her all night?

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