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Ex partner doesnt want anythin to do with me or our baby

(9 Posts)
choccypuddin Tue 19-Aug-08 16:42:19

Hi just hopin their someone i can talk to. I feelin very alone at 32weeks pregnant.My ex partner as told me he wants nothin 2 do with me or baby and as hurt me so much i strugglin with everyday and want to be strong for little one arrivin but its so hard

lizandlulu Tue 19-Aug-08 16:46:09

ohh poor you, that must be so so difficult. do you have any close friends or family nearby?

lizandlulu Tue 19-Aug-08 16:46:11

ohh poor you, that must be so so difficult. do you have any close friends or family nearby?

MrsMattie Tue 19-Aug-08 16:48:48

I'm so sorry to hear that@choccy. It may not feel like it now, but it really is his loss. Do you have family or close friends to confide in? And to help after the birth of your baby? Is your ex shirking his financial responsibilities, too?

mankymummy Tue 19-Aug-08 16:52:05

I left my ex when I was 33 weeks pg and brought my son up alone with hardly any contact for the first year.

my DS is nearly 3 and exP does see him now.

I just wanted to say its not easy, its never easy bringing up a baby but you can do it. you do it because you have to.

I have such a close bond with my son now and I look at him some days and feel really proud that I've done it all myself.

I'm not sure if thats what you wanted to hear but hope its some reassurance if you dont manage to work things out with your Ex.

jellyjelly Tue 19-Aug-08 16:55:14

Hi choocy, sorry to hear about your ex. You and your baby will be better off without and on your own if that is his view. It is his loss and very much your gain as you get all the baby love to yourself.

You will survive, come and join us on lone parent.

Remember to call gingerbread and get some advice about beneifts/child benefit and fill them in along with tax credits as soon as your baby is born. You wont want to do it but it will be good to get it sorted so you dont struggle. You can call them before and get information sent out.

Wishing you the best of luck. You can do it.

abouteve Tue 19-Aug-08 17:02:04

You are not the only one to be going through this although it can seem like it at the time. I was on my own too. 14 years ago now and I got through it. You will too believe me. Once the baby is born it will be so worth it.

My advice is to get him to pay some financial support and then let him go. Don't let him blight the first precious years with your baby. I kept giving DD's dad time because I wanted him to be some kind of dad to her. Well I wasted my time and wish I had just kicked him to the kerb. He never stepped up to the mark and I haven't spoken to him for 10 years!

vector Tue 19-Aug-08 17:08:36

I am really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I can you are imagine you are very confused, scared and lonely right now. When I became a lone parent I found it difficult to cope with that feeling of abandonment, I was so upset because I thought I would have never of had the child if I knew I was going to end up doing it alone, I felt like I had been left with all the responsibility and he had got off ‘scott free’ and I felt hurt that exH could ‘leave us behind’ and walk out on his child. In time I’ve realised that it was for the best because a child who has a parent who doesn’t want to be there will feel that. Don’t get me wrong there were days I didn’t know if I wanted to be there! But in my heart I knew I could never do what exH did, I could never leave because the bond between mother and child is too strong. You get all the love from your child now, granted its harder because you have to try to give them everything and you worry they wont feel loved enough as there is only one of you (I got round this by trying to forge a strong relationship with my boy and his granddad). In the long run your child will respect you for what you have been through, and their love makes everything worth it I promise!

choccypuddin Tue 19-Aug-08 21:24:10

Thanks 4 all your support. I hope all this hurt and upset will go once im holdin my baby in my arms. I wish i could get my ex to see sense and change my mind but i have to accept he is gone and that i better without him.

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