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Need advice on freinds relationship breakdown.....calling all those who have been cheated on.

(7 Posts)
UpForAir Mon 18-Aug-08 12:41:23

What is the best thing I can do to support a friend whose H has left her and their DC's.

I want to phone him and tell him to get his cheating arse back home, but obviously she may not be too keen to have him back. It just seems such a waste to have such a great dad not living with his DC's.

UpForAir Mon 18-Aug-08 13:06:04


jelliebelly Mon 18-Aug-08 13:08:32

Just be there to listen to her - don't whatever you do start slagging him off - if they get back together it will be v.awkward for everybody - obviously you can listen to her slagging him off but ime you just need to listen and make sympathetic noises tbh.

UpForAir Mon 18-Aug-08 13:12:40

I woudn't slag him off - he's a top bloke apart from this.

She is now about to move 6 hours by car away from him.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Mon 18-Aug-08 13:13:09

quite, don't slag him off to her - listen but the worst thing my family could do when x and I split was to say they had always hated him and knew he was wrong from the start??!!

be there for general support - she'll have her highs and lows, take the kids if you can for her to let her have a rest from it all.

the decision she has to make is if she wants him back - not if he wants to come back iycwim. you can help her make said decision by remaining neutral - is hard but say you'll be there either way, and it won't be easy if she goes alone but you are there, likewise if she wants to work things out - just listen to her working things out in her own mind.,

recommend councilling possibly.

oh and make sure she's eating and sleeping ok.

UpForAir Mon 18-Aug-08 13:31:49

It's really diffucult as she is so far away from me. I just want to give her a huge hug, but can't.

ConstanceWearing Mon 18-Aug-08 14:47:11

My best friend came and told me a lot of gossip about my XH when we first split up. It very much influenced my decision never to take him back and, maybe unjustly, I really don't thank her for the part she played.

Be there as much as you can, it is so vital to have someone who will listen. But don't take sides. It's like counselling. Let her work through it herself, ask questions and make the right noises. But give no opinions or advice

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