Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Lost Friendship.

(26 Posts)
TheHedgeWitch Sun 17-Aug-08 23:29:47

Message withdrawn

Fou Sun 17-Aug-08 23:33:26

Sorry, I don't unerstand it either. sad

ImForeverBlowingBuble Sun 17-Aug-08 23:34:47

2 ex friends of mine have done this to me upon getting pregant themselves,which i could never understand as i too have dc so in theory we shpould have more in common.I was cut off too and if honest it still gets to me because i dont know why.

themoon66 Sun 17-Aug-08 23:35:20

That is weird.... you still haven't seen her wedding pictures?

Has she met your baby at all?

asmuchasiloveyou Sun 17-Aug-08 23:38:29

I also lost my best friend because I had babies. Your childless friends always say it won't happen, but it does sad

PeaMcLean Sun 17-Aug-08 23:39:15

I've lost touch with people I thought were good friends, and I share your frustration.

I don't understand it either.

Need to look forwards. Hard I know. i don't have the answer either. need to make new friends. If anyone knows how to do that, i'd be very grateful.

TheHedgeWitch Sun 17-Aug-08 23:42:23

Message withdrawn

TheHedgeWitch Sun 17-Aug-08 23:44:59

Message withdrawn

ladymariner Sun 17-Aug-08 23:49:39

One of my best friends and I met when we were 6, and another when we were 11. We are still very close, but in a different way as I have ds and both of them are married but without children through choice.

You don't have to lose your best friends, asmuchasiloveyou, but you do have to realise and accept that you have different priorities in life. I wouldn't want to be without either of my friends in my life.

However, I was extremely lucky and also made new friends through chatting at the school gates, all three of whom are fabulous!

ladymariner Sun 17-Aug-08 23:50:50

That sounded really smug and honestly wasn't meant to be, I realise I'm very lucky. blush

TheHedgeWitch Sun 17-Aug-08 23:52:57

Message withdrawn

asmuchasiloveyou Mon 18-Aug-08 00:01:23

It was more of a drift apart. She was busy and I was busy and then she didn't bother returning text messages, so I didn't bother either.

We broke up sad

But unlike splitting up with a boyfriend, there was no confrontation, no bad feeling, just a sense of loss. I got a 'wide distribution email' a few weeks ago, so am still on mailing list smile

Hedge, couldn't you contact your friend again and say, 'hi - am expecting number 2... fancy meeting for coffee?'

ladymariner Mon 18-Aug-08 00:03:33

Thats really sad, Hedgewitch, I think thats one of the nicest things about friendship is having someone to share stuff with sad

Just had a look at your profile, and you're at the other end of the country to me, unfortunately. What about playgroup, nursery, whatever, are there any girls there you could get chatting to? What about where you work?

By the way, you looked lovely after your photo session, what a fab present envy

Earthymama Mon 18-Aug-08 00:07:47

I'm a carer for my elderly mum and have lost my friendship group bbecause I struggled to just up and do things on an impulse. It makes me really sad, but I'm lucky I have a fab DP and my darling DD lives close by with her family.

happyhoney Mon 18-Aug-08 00:11:54

I too have lost 'good' friendships. When I had my 2nd DD at around the same time as a close friend, our friendship really changed and has now come to an end.sad It was nearly four years ago and looking back I think we dealt with our 2nd DD differently and that caused a rift.

It's sad is'nt it. My advice is forget her and move on - make new friends who deserve you.grin

TheHedgeWitch Mon 18-Aug-08 00:15:52

Message withdrawn

happyhoney Mon 18-Aug-08 00:20:07

Awww, love don't cry. I don't have loads of local friends infact I don't have loads of friends full stop. LOL. It's hard is'nt it? I have met lots of people through school, made a few friends, also through toddler group. Get out there and mix - you may meet 20 people and 1 friend - I'd rather have that then lots of fair weather friends.wink

asmuchasiloveyou Mon 18-Aug-08 00:20:57

call your friend!

Just pick up the phone and say, 'miss you!'

You didn't fall out - just sort of faded away...

TheHedgeWitch Mon 18-Aug-08 00:39:09

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun Mon 18-Aug-08 00:51:32

Maybe it's not to do with you and your baby at all, and more that she is wrapped up in adjusting to married life? I understand that it's sad, but it might be more her than you IFYSWIM? It just sounds like one of those sad things that you have to put behind you, and start looking forward? I do feel for you though x

SparklyGothKat Mon 18-Aug-08 00:56:33

Me and my Bf fell out last year, when I had the gall to fall asleep when I was 33 weeks and not getting over to see her (she lives in scotland and was staying at my cousins for a few days) I delivered Callum 2 days later.

She is getting married next month, my cousin is giving her away. I was supposed to be MoH and I haven't had an invite. She hasn't phoned me to tell me the wedding is next month (found out via my cousin) and I am gutted..

Greatfun Mon 18-Aug-08 09:05:57

I think this is quite normal. I am going through a similar thing with an old uni friend at the moment who has made as little effort as possible since I had my DCs. The only advice I have is to consider writing a letter to her last address expressing how you feel. Once thats done its up to her what to do next and you should move on. Concentrate on making new friends. I know its difficult but I have made quite a few mummy friends just by chatting to people at playgroups/play grounds and through net mums. Admittedly they are not the same friendships I once had but at least its company. Onwards and upwards.

youcannotbeserious Mon 18-Aug-08 09:12:59

THW, I really understand what you are going through...

I've lost a couple of friends (one who I thought would ALWAYS be a friend) since DS arrived. I did try to keep it up - called her etc., but she seemed determined to prove her life was as busy / busier than mine (She kept coming up with reasons I'd have to drive to see her, even though I explained I was struggling to settle DS in his car seat) so I just gave up bothering.

many of my other friends (still dear friends) live reasonable distances away and they have kids / lives too...

I'm really trying to get out and join groups - not something I find naturally easy, but I have to make the effort to find new friends etc,

Sorry, that's not really advice is it? But I do empathise!

And I spend a lot of time on MN!!! grin

warthog Mon 18-Aug-08 12:11:53

i have this problem too. i guess getting involved in mumsnet meetups and the nct coffee mornings might be a way to meet new people.

SparklyGothKat Tue 19-Aug-08 22:24:38

I recieved a letter today from my BF, she said that there is too many hard feeling between us to go back But she did say she missed me and loved me. How do I reply to that??

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: