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Advice on how to ask a guy out please! I'm too shy but I really want to......

(45 Posts)
dee24 Sun 17-Aug-08 15:17:13

Ok, simple enough! Really like a guy at work have done for a few months. When I first started had to work with him a bit so chatted to him a few times, but since then we havn't really had a chance to, as he seems really quiet (but he still smiles at me). Had a fab works night out a few weeks ago, wore a very nice cleavage enhancing top wink and after a few drinks got the courage to go and chat to him. He invited me out with him and few other folk so that was fun (though I did drink a bit too much blush). it was all very sweet, one of the sober girls said she thought he liked me and outside he held my hand as we walked around (LOL, can you believe i'm bloody 25!!!!!) Went back to a house with everyone for some karaoke and again it was all very sweet, and we both crashed out on the couch. Without even a snog, whats that all about!?!? Woke up a few hours later, he was really quiet and a bit funny at first but we chatted away while he gave me a lift home and I gave him a kiss on the cheek, said thanks for my lift and away I went.
So since being back at work, we're acting even more shy! He won't come near me, or even look if anyone else is around but a girl asked me if we were going out again, so obv someones said something. And that's made me worse!! He spoke to me for 2 minutes when I was on my own (albeit a bit flustered) but I haven't had a chance to chat to him since He's still smiling at me though and I dont want to leave it too long incase he thinks I'm not interested. I keep thinking he likes me, but then think, maybe he's just being nice. Esp after dropping me off at my skanky flat lol! I don't know!! I've never asked anyone out (or been asked out tbh blush) so it's all new to me. A friend suggested that as he seems shy and I don't get to chat to him, I should maybe send him an email on payday keeping it casual. Something like 'it's payday and I've nothing planned, don't suppose you fancy going for a drink?' Aaaaaahhhhh! I've not got a bloody clue, help! Not used to shy boys at all grin

girlnextdoor Sun 17-Aug-08 15:22:47

Hmmm. I think if any guy is worth his salt, he'll ask a woman out. How old is he?

TBH his reactions to me sound like a guy who feels he went to far and now feels embarrassed.

If you really want to know, then ask him out for an after work drink.

dee24 Sun 17-Aug-08 15:31:55

That's what I was worried of. He is really quiet though so I was just hoping that he was maybe too shy to ask. He's late 20s [sigh]. Oh well.

PortAndLemon Sun 17-Aug-08 15:55:35

You can try the old standby of "I've got a couple of tickets for [something], would you be interested in going?"

Jazzicatz Sun 17-Aug-08 16:02:35

Oh sweet heart - feeling like that is one of the worst but also best part of meeting someone - the 'oh does he like me' and 'what should I do'phase. I would do as your friend suggests - if you can't face him face to face then send a text or an email. Just make it chatty and ask if he fancies a drink after work or something equally casual. All he can do is say no and the you will have you answer. But I am sure he is just shy and not sure how to ask you. Good lick and enjoy!

chapstickchick Sun 17-Aug-08 16:05:09

just get him asked girl!!!

wear that top again and bloody snog him this time so heasks you next time grin

giraffescantdancethetango Sun 17-Aug-08 16:06:20

good lick grin

Jazzicatz Sun 17-Aug-08 16:06:57

blush Mmmmm freudian slip methinks!

laurenslovelymummy Sun 17-Aug-08 16:17:27

pmsl 'good lick'!!!!

I just don't get the chance to see him at work alone so I think an email would be good. He seems like the kinda guy that wouldn't say to anyone if he said no. But considering I work with 40 guys they might wonder what on earth he was thinking turning me down wink. Just trying to get my confidence up lol!

oh it feels like being a teenager again! Wish i'd bloody snogged him now.....

laurenslovelymummy Sun 17-Aug-08 16:18:17

Whoops, changed my name as seen as I'm not 24 anymore!

chapstickchick Sun 17-Aug-08 16:21:28

oh fgs email him now!!!!

enjoy your good lick wink

laurenslovelymummy Sun 17-Aug-08 16:26:14

I'm not at work just now, think emailing him from home might make me seem a bit stalker-ish. Not quite at that stage yet grin

And here's hoping I get to enjoy it!!!

chapstickchick Sun 17-Aug-08 17:58:46

i dunno not if u say u were just thinking what a laff u had with him in fact mailing him from home and taking it out of the workplace might be just the thing to do........

laurenslovelymummy Sun 17-Aug-08 18:24:26

But then I'd need to mail him at work. Though I only work three days, and I know he can pick up his mails at home so could be an idea. Do you think that would be better?
Taking it out the workplace would def be the way to go, wish I had his mobile number!!

chapstickchick Sun 17-Aug-08 18:50:34

i would just mail him and say that was one of the funnest nights out youve had in a long time and does he fancy another?? worded like that you could easily turn it into a group thing if he said no .....ask him for his number say cos u only work 3 dys week maybe u could text him your number is ---- whats his??

i reckon he will be flttered.grin

laurenslovelymummy Sun 17-Aug-08 19:02:31

Ooooo, great idea! Then if he said no or wasn't sure I could say I meant with everyone. I did have a good laugh with them all anyway so that sounds ideal. Thanks, will mail him through the week and see what happens I hope he is flattered, it would do a hell of a lot for my confidence just now. Oh I'm all excited!!

chapstickchick Mon 18-Aug-08 12:18:27

let us know what happens wont you??
im a bit out of touch with dating s ive been with my dh 17 years shock the way things are going tho i might need tips on dating myself sad

laurenslovelymummy Mon 18-Aug-08 20:52:30

Ahhh, I chickened out today. Didn't see him much and one of those times I was stuffing a bit of galaxy in my mouth blush But hey, he came in and said good morning to me and a girl I work with so he's getting brave lol! Though he still acted all cute and shy [sigh]

I know I will do it, I just seem to be more paranoid that I ask him and people find out I did. I get so embarrassed about things like that - to the point my ears go red (happened when the girl I work with asked me if he'd asked me out, because I knew people had been gossipingblush) So would be even worse if people found out and he said no. Aaaarrrrggghhh!

Wish I was more confident

Dior Mon 18-Aug-08 20:55:32

Message withdrawn

chapstickchick Mon 18-Aug-08 22:06:23

bjesus girl get it done!!!!!!!!!

email him NOW and do it how i suggested!

ToughDaddy Mon 18-Aug-08 22:10:28

Okay- I wasn't going to comment but.....what you need here was a very good male friend (could be tricky in the work context) to get him all excited.

I once said to a very good friend that Ms X is the type of girl that you want to marry. He retorted that he didn't see anything in her. He ended up dating her and they are still together. Seen many similiar situations.

laurenslovelymummy Mon 18-Aug-08 22:13:56

typing one up just now grin

Life's too short, so feck it. If he says no it's his loss, lol! Still feel a bit sick though, how do people do this???

abouteve Mon 18-Aug-08 22:22:48

Sorry, but I wouldn't ask a guy out, personally. I know I'm in the minority here and I really hope you get a good outcome. FWIW I know girls who have got their man this way. Some men also want a sign that they women is interested so its very brave of you.

I'd be scared of rejection but good luck with it.

I quite like someone at work and would go out with him if asked. The fact is he hasn't asked me I just accept that he isn't interested.

Alambil Mon 18-Aug-08 22:25:46

me too abouteve!!

abouteve Mon 18-Aug-08 22:27:52

Toughdaddy, I've seen this happen also. Sometimes a female friend will point out that someone is a catch and I've taken notice because of it. Same for men then, interesting.

I guess we are all looking for reasurrances. Similar when you tell your friends that someone has asked you out and they all shout 'he's a whatever'. It can put you off rapidly.

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