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EEk! I just had the sex/masturbation talk with DD (7)

(96 Posts)
VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 21:32:09

Please tell me I did ok!!

Basically DS(3) asked what tampons were for, I explained, DD already knew about periods but after hearing me and DS asked where the blood comes from.

I said your vagina, the hole near your bottom where the baby comes out etc. Cool all fine.
She then asked what the lumpy bit was at the top, yes I panicked, sad I think you mena you clitoris but can't be sure, and sent her up to bed.

Went up to tuck her in and asked if there was anything she wanted to ask me, she spreads her legs, points at her clitoris and asks me, 'This bit mum, what is this?'
I felt so embarrassed, thing is I don't feel at all embarrassed with DS and his bits, is this a problem of mine because I had 'issues' surrounding my vagina when I was a child? or is it normal for a mum to feel really uncomfortable t see her daughters vulva?
Anyway the convo went
DD: what is this?
Me: your clitoris
DD:what is it for?
Me: not quite sure, have you ever touched it?
DD:yes
Me:how did it feel?
DD:nice
Me:Well, not totally sure but I thin it might be to do with having sex, with men and women we have to have sex more than animals to get pg, so I'm assuming it feels nice because we have to do it a lot.
I then explained conception, how it can take a lot of sex to make a baby etc, and left her with no more questions.

What I want to know, did I say the right thing? and is it normal it feel really weird about seeing your DD's vulva or am I projecting?

Thanks.

cremolafoam Sat 16-Aug-08 21:34:50

oh flip VS- you did brilliantly-
pour wine relax

justaboutagrownup Sat 16-Aug-08 21:34:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ceolas Sat 16-Aug-08 21:35:21

Think you did fine

FWIW I don't have a problem seeing their vulvas (have 2 DDs). What about when she was a baby? Was it OK then?

TheRealMrsOsborne Sat 16-Aug-08 21:35:58

I teach sex education and puberty as part of my job and i think you did a fabulous job
[proud emoticon] grin

littleducks Sat 16-Aug-08 21:36:24

i dont want to say anything else as i dont have a clue but at some point in the future it might be worth mentioning that although it CAN take alot of sex to get pregnant it could happen from just one time

but dont panic im sure there is plenty of time for that

Peachy Sat 16-Aug-08 21:36:46

you did well

relax!

MarkStretch Sat 16-Aug-08 21:37:55

<<bookmarks thread for use at a later date>>

Well done.

VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 21:41:12

littleducks, I did emphasise it could happen after just one time, or take millions of goes, I had the teenage pregnancy flag flying high!!

Ceolas, I've always felt funny about seeing it, I think it's an issue I have because of my own childhood.

thisisyesterday Sat 16-Aug-08 21:45:24

VS i think youi did brilliantly! and I just wanted to say as well that it's so fab that your daughter can talk to you so openly and show you stuff and ask questions.
you must have a really good relationship with her

littleducks Sat 16-Aug-08 21:49:29

then you deserve a gold star, well done!!!

SalLikesCoffee Sat 16-Aug-08 21:52:23

Sounds like you did a brilliant job!!! I somehow doubt I would have been so calm without prior warning blush. Your relationship sounds great and very open.

VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 21:55:32

I always thought our relationship was quite awkward tbh, and I have to admit I'm not sure if the conversation would have gone quite the same if I hadn't already had a couple of glasses of wineblush

thisisyesterday Sat 16-Aug-08 21:59:55

yeah but she obviously feels like she can talk to you, and that is what matters, even if you feel awkward answering her questions, or dealing with issues from your past.
she came to you with something very private that she wanted to know about, and you were there for her and answered her questions.

I never had that with my mum, and it's really important.
so well done!

QueSt Sat 16-Aug-08 22:00:16

If I had YOU as my mum, I would not have to sit and squat in the bathroom aged 20 after my gay best friend had informed me that the clitoris was NOT the same place I peed out of. blush

Well done.

VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 22:01:35

Can I LOL QueSt?

QueSt Sat 16-Aug-08 22:02:25

Yes you may. Feel free.

(she didnt tell me about periods either.grin I thought I was dying from some weird bleeder disease)

ImForeverBlowingBuble Sat 16-Aug-08 22:02:55

OMG i dread any questions like this cropping up
infact i cringed reading this.

You did so well.

Yours truly prudish.

QueSt Sat 16-Aug-08 22:03:15

(oh, and I am Quint/QS btw) wink

VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 22:05:41

Ah, nice new name dear.

Sorry ImForeverBlowingBuble!

piratecat Sat 16-Aug-08 22:07:14

you did brilliantly, esp as they just seem to spring these convos on us. You realy did keep it simple yet factual!!!

I feel a little awkward when i see my dd's vulva. I don't think i have any issues, so i just wanted to say that when i do see her naked i'm like (to myself) 'oh there it is' yes she has one!!!

I was always amazed at how perfectly formed she was from birth, i had no idea that everything was 'there' iyswim. From the offset.

wheredohairbandsgo Sat 16-Aug-08 22:11:38

My dd asked me when she was 2 what her 'front bottom lump' was called.
I told her and days later she proudly told a passerby in the street.

'I've got a clitoris y'know'

blush blush blush

VictorianSqualor Sat 16-Aug-08 22:13:17

LOL!

I thought I'd covered it when explaining vaginal birth, but obviously not, though DD did ask her teacher f she was going to have a vaginal birth or a caesariangrin

Cappuccino Sat 16-Aug-08 22:14:13

my dd2 saw her clitoris and said "Look! it's a toe!"

muggglewump Sat 16-Aug-08 22:15:11

She's 7?
OMG, my DD is almost 7. I don't want to have that talk. She's a baby.
I guess I have to have that talk soonsad
She still thinks my boobs are funny as is my (when it's not been done with the epilator) furry bum.
I know I'm freaking out but I don't want my baby to grow up.

Christ, someone slap me!

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