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DS (age 7) said to me " you don't have to love them you know, when you're married"....

(2 Posts)
josben Fri 15-Aug-08 00:42:37

My lovely DS has witnessed enough arguments, grumpy snappy shit to come to this conclusion...

He said this to me after a 3 hour journey to our holiday destination when DH and I had been arguing for most of the journey... I felt soooo bad - I can't believe me and DH hava allowed ourselves to to show our tension to our kids like this.

Dh and I said to DS that we do love each other and everyone argues sometimes and we love him and our other 2 DC's very much.....

I wonder what me and DH can do to get our relationship back on track - we always seem to be p*ssed off with each other.... Money worries, work stress, family life and no time for each other all contribute to our life no being as I hoped it should be.... sad

Alexa808 Fri 15-Aug-08 06:22:51

No one is perfect and instead of feeling bad I think you should look forward to the future and take action now that you're aware of what's amiss.

Children will witness arguments or tension, but it depends how they are fought out in front of them. It clearly upsets and confuses your son to see and hear you fight on a constant basis. As adults you should be able to 'hold it off' so that your DS is not always caught in the middle of it. Best to keep schtum till you and DH have more privacy to talk once DS is in bed or away.

With regards to your DH and you, I think councelling could help you to see the other's point of view and leave the bickering and worries outside your door so that you guys can make time for yourself. Hiccups will occurr in any good relationship and it's better to air one's issues rather than not voicing them and allowing them to embitter you and eat you up. However, you guys have a responsibility towards your DC and a councellor can help you to find compromises.

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