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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

is you other half really in touch with their feelings?

19 replies

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 09:25

not that i'm complaining about my new beau, but he's v v in touch with his feelings and is v v open in talking about them.

last night he had a 'moment' not for the first time - he said was tears of happiness, which I find somewhat over whelming tbh and sort of want to say fgs man pull yourself together!

his nan's not doing so well either which didn't help yesterday tbh - as she's the last grandparent he has.

so how do you deal with it - my XH was a bit of a closed book tbh - he had 2 emotions anger, and stiff upper lip!

help! (on way out so if I don't come back thats' why) or am I just a cold fish??

OP posts:

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lilacclaire · 14/08/2008 09:28

Oh I dunno, I would end up laughing at him, but thats just me.

lazaroulovespastries · 14/08/2008 09:30

Dh used to cry all the time when I met him, but now he's lived with the ice queen for a while he doesn't do it much anymore.
Or maybe he silently weeps

lilacclaire · 14/08/2008 09:35

rofl

Swedes · 14/08/2008 09:43

I like a man to be full of sympathy and in touch with my feelings but I wouldn't want him having too many difficult feelings of his own.

Do you engage in competitive weeping?

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 12:29

lol. how rude!

no we don't - I withdrawl tbh work things out in my own head then talk about it.

it's not the heartless thing where he's worried about his nan, it's the happiness thing.

I know I get hormonal and want to cry for no reason but he say's this isn't hormonal! to quote him - 'after so much shite, it's all coming together - job I love, fantastic gorgeous girlfriend I adore'

so yes feelings are good etc but well, how do I deal with them cos I hug him n do a there there type thing but with one eye on the telly

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Swedes · 14/08/2008 12:55

LOL at one eye on the telly.

I suppose it depends how he is the rest of the time, when he's not weepy with delight at his good fortune?

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." Oscar Wilde

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 13:04

he's fantastic, very attentive, very loving, willingly does house work! supportive - really have nothing to complain about.

and boy that man hits the right spots/kisses lol.

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MadreInglese · 14/08/2008 13:06

Hmm, sounds exactly like my ex from years ago

(incidently he now has a lovely partner called Mike)

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 13:10

(don't say that that!)

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MadreInglese · 14/08/2008 13:12

sorry just kidding

dreadingit · 14/08/2008 13:14

MadreInglese

He sounds great. Do you have a lot in common? Is he chatty?

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 13:19

yeah we do, get on fab v v relaxed together, he's birthday's the day before mine - but he's 2 years older, like the same music/films/roughly the same humour (his is dry mine's more sarcastic wit, but I can be dry as well, and he can be sarcastic), over all is good thou - spent the last 2 nights together laying on the bed just talking about anything and everything but nothing really if that makes sence?

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Swedes · 14/08/2008 13:28

How old are you?

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 13:29

i'm 26 he's 28.

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Heifer · 14/08/2008 13:44

Men can't win can they! We complain when they are too closed and then we complain when they cry like children!..

I am not sure how I would feel tbh, as my DH doesn't seem to have any feelings... he is the closed booked type of guy. Never really up and never ever down. He smirks when he finds something really funny and frowns when he doesn't...

It seems to me that your new boyfriend is great in every other way, and he may well never have anything else to get upset about in his life, so you may not have to deal with this issue again.

I guess at least if he is in touch with his feeligns, he will be very in touch with yours, which can only be a good thing.

Stick with him, but make sure you carry a few tissues around with you...

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 13:50

actually you saying that heifer - he does seem to be v v intune with mine. often asks what's wrong when there's something but nothing really iycwim.

have no intention of throwing him back yet!
(think young tom cruise in top gun/cocktail and you're getting close to what he looks like)

to be fair - I think he's had such a shitty time with women tbh and of late that it's overwhelmed him a bit.

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lizinthesticks · 14/08/2008 15:48

"think young tom cruise in top gun/cocktail and you're getting close to what he looks like"

A gay midget?

rarebreed · 14/08/2008 15:54

guffaw @ 'gay midget'

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 14/08/2008 16:09

ooh how rude! lol.

he's 5'7 so prob short yes to most - in fact I usually go for over 6ft blokes, but as i'm only 5'2, he's tall! (the height did put me off a bit to start with tbh but well it's nice to be able to look into someone's eyes n not have to strain my neck!

OP posts:

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