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So tell me, are your parents the least bit interested in what you do for a living?

(45 Posts)
Twinklemegan Tue 12-Aug-08 22:32:58

Because I'm feeling a little pissed off with mine to be honest. I have just completed a major project, very successfully I think, and I asked my mum and dad to take a look at the results and give me honest feedback.

Well after speaking to my dad I felt like they were only looking at it because they felt a duty. They hadn't even explored the most obvious bits (it's a website) and my mum was hassling my dad to get off the internet because she wanted to watch their holiday video.

Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit more interest in a whole year of my blood sweat and tears? I really hoped that such a visible aspect of my work would be of more interest to them tbh.

unknownrebelbang Tue 12-Aug-08 22:34:52

The less my dad knows about my job the better, tbh, but I guess it depends on the job.

I would expect DH to take an interest, but not my parents.

Twinklemegan Tue 12-Aug-08 22:37:24

I guess it also depend on a person's relationship with their parents. We're pretty close in most ways - they certainly like to know the minutiae of every other aspect of our lives.

lizinthesticks Tue 12-Aug-08 22:37:43

Well, this is a weird one for me. Mine don't give a fuck. But bizarrely I'm not sure I want them to. It's difficult to explain. Like, I hate talking about work with anyone - but it's even harder with them cos they don't really get it. I heart my mum but she didn't have the best education and can be a bit daily express about shit, which really fucking pisses me off. My dad's absolutely nobody's fool and can think stuff through awesomely. However, he's a bit kind of engineer mindset - so I'm not sure he would get it either. God knows.

But in a nutshell, yanbu. Definitely not.

luckylady74 Tue 12-Aug-08 22:39:26

No my Mum isn't interested, but aren't we all still feckless teenagers in our parent's eyes?
My mum wondered why I wanted her at my degree ceremony, had no idea what my A levels subjects are and so on.
I expect affirmation from dh now and my friends, but it can be a bit gutting.

unknownrebelbang Tue 12-Aug-08 22:40:14

It's the job I do in my case, twinkle, not the closeness iyswim.

It does depend on the relationshp though, too.

QueenEagle Tue 12-Aug-08 22:42:07

Yep as I am doing the job of my dreams (still idealistic ha!) and my Dad is soooo proud as he thought he would never see me achieve it. So yes he loves to know as much as I can tell him.

Twinklemegan Tue 12-Aug-08 22:42:24

It's a bit the same for me really. I keep hoping that one day they'll "get it", but they just don't. I think it's because I deviated from their preferred career path for me.

It's stupid, I'm 31 years old but I want them to be proud of me. Unfortunately though, my parents are the kind of people who measure success through earnings (ironic really, given that they wanted me to pursue music as a career). All they seem to be able to say is, well hopefully you'll get a pay rise now. Erm no, because I'm public sector and it just doesn't work like that. Then I'm left feeling inadequate because I don't earn enough. sad

canofworms Tue 12-Aug-08 22:43:56

My mum never asks about my job and isn't interested about it either.

BUT Dh has a similar job and she'll ring and ask him for advice when in fact I usually know more on the subject than he does!

Twinklemegan Tue 12-Aug-08 22:44:11

I'm doing the job of my dreams too QueenEagle - that's why I'd hope for a bit more interest. But it's not the job of their dreams, and therein lies the problem.

WallOfSilence Tue 12-Aug-08 22:49:42

I worked my ass for this job, I am a journalist at a local paper & my mum asks me if I "Still write wee stories for that paper." hmm

Yet she drives 6 miles out of her way every week to buy the damn paper..... so she knows I always have different features on the go... she's just a conundrum!!

My dad cares a bit I think, he is the only one of the two of them who has my graduation pic on his wall.

sprogger Tue 12-Aug-08 22:55:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizinthesticks Tue 12-Aug-08 22:57:53

See, I never do that. My DP does it all the time. Hmmph.

Alexa808 Tue 12-Aug-08 23:39:20

I'm an only child and have always had all eyes on me and lots of cheers and support no matter what I did.

My parents are totally into what I'm doing/was doing (only a few more weeks before baby arrives). Have to say they both hold university degrees, they have worked in similar environments and are always up to date on latest events, global markets and the odd bit of gossip...

I think had I pursued an artistic career or something like anthropology, etc, they'd be very supportive but I'd see less daily involvement from their side IYSWIM.

littlelapin Tue 12-Aug-08 23:40:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch Tue 12-Aug-08 23:45:23

my parents had a reasonable idea of what I do but my dad does have a tendency to forget that I have changed jobs and no longer work in a hospital (left 10 years ago!) - ah well.

Mamazon Tue 12-Aug-08 23:53:58

when i got into uni to study for my socail work degree my mum said " well just don't bring all that airy fairy social worker nonsense round here ok"

i still don't think they have ever understood what i actually did all day

Tortington Tue 12-Aug-08 23:55:05

no they are a bit dead - but no anyway - no one is interested becuase no one really understands what i do least of all me.

expatinscotland Tue 12-Aug-08 23:56:29

No, and I'm glad my mother has finally gotten off my back and left me in peace to be the big fecking slacker I am.

solidgoldbrass Wed 13-Aug-08 00:06:47

Hmm, I don't really tell my parents the, er, ins and outs of my work but sometimes they 'get' some of it and are proud. About 10 years ago I had a piece published in the Independent on Sunday and they carried the cutting around for weeks and showed all their mates, but I think that was because it was about the only bit of my published work that I was really happy to let them read (I mainly write about sex...)
Do your parents understand the Interweb at all? Mine would be totally bollixed by it.

moulesfrites Wed 13-Aug-08 08:19:12

My parents appreciate it to an extent and were proud when I got my degree etc, but they have the same issues with promotion/payrises as yours Twinklemegan. My MIL, on the other hand, is awful. Recently she introduced me like this: "This is moules, she is just a teacher...". I was gobsmacked. Think next time I introduce her I'll say she's "just a housewife..."

sarah293 Wed 13-Aug-08 08:29:15

Message withdrawn

charliecat Wed 13-Aug-08 08:32:21

When I worked for someone else my mum was always concerned about me being tken advantage of, because I was always being called in when others were off sick.
Now im self employed she is well impressed, but no actual interest.

tiredemma Wed 13-Aug-08 08:44:46

My previous jobs have always been in travel so apart from the times when my dad had to wire me money out to ensure that I was eating properly (I was living overseas), and when they wanted cheap holidays, they never really paid much attention.

Now that im at university training to be a mental health nurse, they are more interested. Maybe because nobody in our family has ever got as far going to college, so its a big thing.

PussinWellies Wed 13-Aug-08 13:12:39

The last interest my parents expressed was my mum saying 'Your dad always thinks it's such a shame you don't work when you were so clever...'

Humph. I've been self-employed for donkey's years and have a child with SEN. Dunno how I do it without working at least some of the time.

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