I mean, if a dc of yours had to go to hospital appointments now and again, would he come with you? And if you had a health scare, e.g. found a lump, would he come with you then. Just wondering whether other dh/p alter work commitments to support their other halves in this way.
My DH wouldnt normally. He works a long way away and it is hard for him to get time off. BUT if I asked him to come with me and told him it was important to me that he came for a certain appontment I was worried about, he would make every effort possible to come in that instance.
I wouldn't expect him to go to mine, tbh, because our children are not in school yet and someone needs to look after them if either of us needs to go to the doctor (we have no one to look after them but us).
But he'd alter his shifts to look after the girls - he does already when I go to my midwife checks, for scans, etc.
I understand this can be very difficult for some who are self-employed, particularly in this economy.
Not great. He is self-employed and when ds2 had some important hospital appts he didn't come with me - my mum came to support me instead. Also when I had to see breast consultant he didn't come. He doesn't even try to change meetings etc. Felt quite down about it really .
No, I would never expect my DP to come with me to a hospital appointment, either for me or for our daughter, and I never go with him to the doctor/hospital appointments. He sometimes takes the children to the doctor on his own, if their mother isn't available.
He's not the easiest person in the world to discuss it with. Think he would have come if I'd asked but it could have been a big deal and he'd probably have huffed and puffed. I'm not very confident (he knows that) and I would have thought he could have made an effort. Financially things are not too bad and half a day here and there would not have made a huge difference.
prudencepinkleg I make 98% of hospital and doctors appointments with dcs, on my own, without DH, always have. We both work, it is easier for me to do it. Doesn't mean he doesn't care. I also went with a friend for breast screening as her DH couldn't due to work.
It's not really routine stuff that I'm talking about. I wouldn't expect him to come to doctor appointments, but these were when ds2 was having bad behavioural problems and had to see paediatrician and clinical psychologist and ds1 also had to be involved too. I would have at least hoped I could ask him and got an understanding response, even if it was a no.
I go into briskly practical mode so generally don't have dh by my side at hospital appointments - I figure he'll have to be off when I am ill/getting treatment. If I said I need you to be there, he would be though. He'd be there for the dcs like a shot.
PPL, have you said, "I would like you to be there" or "I need you to be there"?
If it is a consultation, ie hospital, then yes it is ideal to be able to both hear the news first hand, both not always possible. If this care is continuing, and you want his support and you think the children do too, then you need to talk about this with him and explain how you feel. Do you feel you have to take all the responsibility for the decisions you have to make when you are there, because that is a lot to ask.