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How often does your DH/DP go out?

(20 Posts)
micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 10:07:08

DH has active social life. Now that we have 2 DCs he has toned it down a bit and goes out 'only' twice a week (rarely at weekends). I am home all day with the DCs and in some ways it annoys me that he is out whilst I am stuck at home but I have long since decided it wasn't worth arguing about. However, yesterday I was talking to some mums at the school gate about going out etc when I mentioned DHs habits of going out twice a week. They all looked a bit shock and said their DHs rarely go out. Different strokes for different folks, etc but it got me thinking.Am I wrng to just accept that eh does this. I don't go out much mostly due to lack of money, motivation (too tired) and TBH lack of friends blush. Now that I am not working the chance to go for a swift half doesn't arise very often!

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 10:07:57

Excuse typos!

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Tue 12-Aug-08 10:10:08

depends upon money. money allowing and he is out nearly every night though only to the pub over the road and usually only for last orders.

he says he has no problem with me going out but i dont see how i can when he is out so often and he is often in a mood with me the day after, so clearly he does have a problem with it, but he knows when i put my foot down not to cross me on it.

bogie Tue 12-Aug-08 10:16:24

What do you mean by going out?

My dp plays for quite a high standard football team and is out tuesday night thursday night and all day saturday, Then every now and againg he will go to golf with his mates or to the pub to watch football but he doesn't go out clubbing or drinking very often.

I don't mind him going out this much when he is doing that sort of thing but I wouldn't be happy if he went out drinking alot (more because his friends are all young single blokes who go out on the pull all the time)

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 10:19:29

Pubs near work. I know all his friends from work very well and most are paired off so that doesn't bother me. Should I just expect him to be at home becuase we have DCs? My mum has implied this on several occassions but I brushed it off as H has always gone out and twice a week doesnt seem that bad.It was only the eye popping reaction of the other mums that made me think perhaps I was wrong.

beanieb Tue 12-Aug-08 10:19:31

Depends. How often do YOU go out?

cocolepew Tue 12-Aug-08 10:19:35

Never, he's odd grin. He works until approx 8pm so he doesn't want to go out. He's changing shifts soon, then'll he'll go out once a fortnight to his motorbike club and a couple of nights to the gym.

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 10:20:20

Hardly ever. Mostly because I dont get the opportunity and lack the inclination to do much about it.

ilovemydog Tue 12-Aug-08 10:24:45

Big bone of contention in the ilovemydog household!

DP went to a cricket match thing all last week coming home pissed most evenings. Is going to a music festival at the end of the week for 4 days and then goes to berlin for a piss up in a couple of weeks.

When I say that he has the lifestyle of a single guy, he goes into a strop and says he hardly goes out and mutters that I am controlling hmm

MatBackFack Tue 12-Aug-08 10:26:03

mice I am the same - DP goes out (properly, in the city, rolling in at 3/4 with a kebab etc) only once a week now - we both used to go out 4/5 nights pre-children. I really don't think this is unreasonable esp as he is a very sociable chap and has massively cut down and is very involved and useful on the other days. However I do find myself feeling bitter and resentful that he can just spontaneously go out wheras I rarely do (mainly because the preparation and effort is not worth the hassle). So i have decided that it is his problem not mine. I have arranged a regular babysitter for one night a week so we can go out together (so he will get 2 regular nights, I'll get 1) and hopefully that will help. Could you do something similar?

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 10:27:33

Glad I am not the only one then. I think the secret is to start going out ourselves. Just need to find my self some avaialble friends! grin

pudding25 Tue 12-Aug-08 10:40:56

DH and I have 3mth old DD. He would ask me if it was ok before he went out and has only been on one big night out since she was born (he had friends from uni in London who he hadnt seen in ages). He would not expect to go out all the time. He wants to spend time with me and DD when she is around.
I don't think it is fair to go out all the time and leave wife/partner at home, unless they are also getting a night off too. I have never really understood blokes who want to spend all their time down the pub rather than at home or trying to arrange to go out with their wife too.

Jux Tue 12-Aug-08 11:05:31

DH used to go out 5 nights a week, but that was in the bad old days......

Now he's out quite often but most of that is work (gigs, recording etc). The rest of the time he's snoozing in the armchair in front of the telly! I haven't got a problem with him going out - I know if I wanted to he'd be OK about it. We don't go out together much, though.

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 11:06:44

MBF- Our DH/DPs sound similar. We go out together as well and he is always telling me to go out. Its just not so easy these days. I dientify with what you say about being resentful that he can just go out at a drop of a hat. Having said that I am rather looking forward to sitting on the sofa painting my toe nails tonight so its not all bad grin

micegg Tue 12-Aug-08 11:07:37

More typos! Sorry.

sarah293 Tue 12-Aug-08 11:08:01

Message withdrawn

scorpio1 Tue 12-Aug-08 11:08:54

dh goes thai boxing 4 nights, and for 2 hours on a sunday. Will go to the pub only about once every two months or so. He does pop off for weekends to see his son, and recently went to Norway with friends for 5 days.

but, hey, i'm happy.

PastYourBedtime Tue 12-Aug-08 11:27:00

Dp goes to a quiz on a Monday, a karoake on sunday, rehursals on wednesday - but i go with him. He also takes me out once a week to the cinema or for a meal, i meet him at work once a week for a drink and a game of darts. He goes out with his mates once a fortnight or so, it used to be every other night but now they are all settling down and having families its eased off. I know i could go out with my friends whenever i want but i prefer to go out with dp.

StellaWasADiver Tue 12-Aug-08 11:30:36

Never, though I would not mind at all if he did.

ByTheSea Tue 12-Aug-08 11:31:29

My DH hardly ever goes out. Once in a while he'll go to a work do, but that's about it. I have a girl's night out averaging once a month.

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