Name changed as very uncomfortable about this.
Dp and I were together 4 months and then I got pregnant. So like 5 months by the time we'd done a test and it was positive etc.
So We had sex all the time. It was all very hot and great. Sometimes 6 times a day even if we were nakered. We both have very high sex drives and he had been with around 250 people before we met.
As soon as I got pregnant he didn't want to do it anymore, he said it felt too weird as there was a baby in there. Fine, as rejected as I felt, I wasn't too cut up about it because I thought well I'm only pregnant for 9 months and then we can get back to normal.
But I put on a lot of weight when I had the baby and my tummy is now a wrinkly saggy mess and I have lost a lot of weight but have a lot more to lose.
I don't know whether this is an issue or not. He always says I look good and he says it's not that.
But he never wants sex. We've done it a few times since baby was born (he's 3 and a half months old now). But not very often. We went for a dirty night away, got pissed and had sex a lot. But it was him who gave in at the end when I could have had more. We'd had sex about 6 times or so. And he had done a LOT of hard work and we were sweating like mad, so fair enough.
But I come on to him all the time and he just says no. If he says we'll have a bottle of wine tonight or something I mention sex and he goes 'maybe' and then when it comes to it he doesn't want to, he just says no.
Considering he's always had such a high sex drive, I don't understand why he's not interested. He says he's grown up, and having a full time job and a new baby takes it out of him. But if I can make the time, why can't he?
I can only assume he either thinks I'm ugly now (I think I am. I'm just too fat, I'm a size 16, but my wrinkly tummy and ripped to bits fanny won't help matters), or he only sees me as a mum.
I sometimes say that things are going to go downhill if it carries on and he tells me not to be so silly.
Don't get me wrong, it's not a completely sexless relationship, but the sex is not what it once was. He doesn't really bother with foreplay anymore, he never ever goes down on me and he seems vaguely disgusted by the idea nowadays though I know he'd be mortified if he knew I was saying all this and he'd tell me not to be so ridiculous and say he loves me etc etc.
We are very loving.
So why won't he have sex with me? I'm 23 and he's 28. And we're getting married in a few months.
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Relationships
DP won't have sex with me. Feel terrible.
13 replies
Ugly · 11/08/2008 11:06
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