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Remember my brother who's wife glassed him and he lost his eye??

(11 Posts)
PinkChick Fri 08-Aug-08 20:35:57

just found out tonight via my cousin! theyre back together!shocksad

She's also invited to my other cousins wedding, the one i wasnt invited too(the ONLY cousin not invited, i wondered if it was because SHE was going but told "NO WAY")

what a f*cking idiotangry..both him and me!

he was terrified of what else she was capable off, but a few months have passed so its now all ok??..and ONCE again, i went running after years of being shit on by him/them, i tried to put aside all the crap theyd thrown at me, and ran to the hospital staight away after not seeing him for 3 years, just to be there for him, just so he knew he wasnt on his own, i tried to help him get sorted house wise, put in his eye drops, bought all number of shot in the dark herbal remidies to reduce swelling in the hope they could safe his sight..i totally dropped my barriers even though i said i wouldnt and now its happend all over again.

So i wonder what she'll do next??, if she can blind her husband and get away with it, she'll be rubbing her hands together with glee!

dont know why i feel sorry for him, he should have prosecuted her and got custody of their kids, if this ahd been a man..!!!..and i just wonder how my lovely cousin will be able to laugh and joke with the woman who blinded her cousin! gutted and feel like a total arsehole!

expatinscotland Fri 08-Aug-08 20:46:06

I'm not at all surprised, tbh.

He's in an abusive relationship.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Aug-08 20:46:08

I'm not at all surprised, tbh.

He's in an abusive relationship.

Alambil Fri 08-Aug-08 20:47:35

What HAS she said to him for him to go back to her

You've been amazing - SUCH a big person in this; don't beat yourself up about it at all.

Why are you an arsehole?! You've done nothing other than help and be honest about her..?

snowleopard Fri 08-Aug-08 20:54:58

You haven't done anything wrong at all, you're not an idiot. You did the right thing and one day he may actually make the break and need you again. You must need a rest from it all, but if you feel up to it, let him know you'll always be there because one of the ways it can work is for the abused person to think "Oh well, everyone's given up on me now, might as well stay..." Of course you feel angry but he will have low self-esteem, so other people being angry with him too will just make him weaker.

Took my friend ages to leave an abusive relationship (she is now happily married to someone nice) and what helped I think was not when I said "FFS leave him!" but when I said "take your time, you might want to leave eventually and if that happens you can count on me".

Besides whatever his reasoning is, I am astonished that this woman can reconcile with him and be with him every day and look at the permanent damage she did to him and not die of shame. How awful.

PinkChick Fri 08-Aug-08 21:11:56

he always said he could never forgive any one but his kids for doing something like that, she has the kids nervous wrecks..dont know how my family can pass time of day with her..unbelieveable.

he doesnt know i know, he hasnt told me, nor spoken to me(not NOT spoken, just not seen him) in weeks, so saying im here for you will sound daft cos he doesnt really care what i think anyway..cousins, mam, aunties..all of them knew, he'd spoken to them all

PinkChick Fri 08-Aug-08 21:12:49

lewisfan, from what i gather he's said he wont let another man bring up his kids!???

Alambil Fri 08-Aug-08 21:17:07

Well she could have said "If you leave, you'll NEVER see them again - courts give custody to mothers, don't you know - I'll get another bloke, a better bloke to raise the kids - they'll love him and forget you" so he's too scared to leave and "let another man raise his kids"

Absuers all play to the same script (pretty much) - she's a classic.

Cut him some slack - does he know of the male equivalent of Womens Aid and other organisations he can call in times of crisis or to get advice?

PinkChick Sat 09-Aug-08 13:23:45

Hiya, yes he knows all that info everyone was really helpful when it happend i passed on all sorts of info to him.

Im not actually being hard on him, like i say, im the only person he HASNT haevnt even had the chance to say anything to him, maybe nothing DID change?, maybe he STILL doesnt think its any of my business even after the past few months?

She is the most evil , manipulative, and sneaky bitch ive ever had the misfortune to come across, so half of me is not surprised, but i thought this time away would help him clear his head and see what is right to do, he was already told by his solicitor and police who came immediatly to hosp that the children WOULD be taken off her if he prosectued due to the severity of her assault, she may have got joint custody, but this i think is why he didnt do it, as he didnt want to take them from their mother???? messed up, i just cant believe after all this time hes now gone back on everything he said/knowssad..what kind of life is he and his children going to have, she's totally mocking him and taking the p*ss out of himsad

Anniegetyourgun Sat 09-Aug-08 13:23:58

Meanwhile carry on doing what you know is right; it doesn't matter whether he shows gratitude or not, you helped because he needed it, not because you wanted thanks. At least he has one decent female role model in his life, even if he doesn't seem to appreciate it at the moment.

PinkChick Sat 09-Aug-08 13:35:30

dya know what the more i think about it the more i think he KNOWS he's doing the wrong thing (obv) and knows i would/might say something where as everyone else 'darent'..for last few weeks the little i have seen him, i COULD sense there was something a miss and even said this to mumhmm..he knows i can sense these things and that i feel the same way he does but he's backed into a corner...i would NEVER say i told you so, ive said that all along, its (was about to say blindingly obvious, but thats a bad choice of words in this situblush) black and white its the wrong thing, but i think he's trappedsad..But..i CANT do anything, i cant text him as the last twice he hasnt answeredhmm and dont want to say "is this true"?, but not saying/doing anything seems crazy, dont know what to do, but at end of day, even though I'M hurt, its not about me, its about him and hoping he isnt stepping into something very dangeroushmmsad

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