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Am I being selfish?

(9 Posts)
ButIForgetMyself Thu 07-Aug-08 18:11:53

DP's band is playing a local festival next month. At this point I'll be six months pregnant. Last year we went and camped, got lagered up, didn't get much sleep though it was great fun.

This year is a bit different. I can't get lagered and to be honest I don't really fancy sleeping in a field in a tent, sober, sharing a portaloo (which I will inevitably be at all night long) with loads of drunken people.

I would go along if we could drive home afterwards, obviously I'll be sober enough to do this, but DP wants to stay and camp - apparently "it's a band thing" to want the night to last as long as possible.

I don't fancy this drive home on my own (it's about 25 miles away) at 11pm, so I've decided not to go at all. I haven't told DP yet - part of me is worried he'll be disappointed, part of me is worried that he'll not be bothered! Of course, in my heart of hearts I want him to say he'll come back with me in the car afterwards, but there's no way I'll ever put pressure on him to do that, I don't want to stand in the way of his band time. I want it to be his idea, but I'm getting no joy so far!

Is this really selfish of me though? It's a big gig for them, they don't often get a forum to play their own songs, usually just covers in pubs.

Overmydeadbody Thu 07-Aug-08 18:15:46

It's selfish to want him to come home with you at 11pm and be disappointed if he doesn't.

If I where you I would go and drive home alone, after all, next year you won't be able to do it with a little baby will you so you should take the opportunity to go out while you still can.

ButIForgetMyself Thu 07-Aug-08 18:19:57

That's why I'd rather just not go - I'm crap at driving country lanes in the dark (city girl!) and I'd rather just pack him off and tell him to have a good time than leave him there in the middle of the night, inevitably one of us would end up feeling bad.

It's a toilet thing for me more than anything else. Hideously scared of festival loos at the best of times, and more so in pregnancy.

Overmydeadbody Thu 07-Aug-08 18:22:31

Well maybe not going is the best solution then! Wave him off and have something lovely planned for you, a hot bath, a good dvd or book, lots of chocolate! grin

That's what I'd do!

Alfreda Thu 07-Aug-08 20:06:18

It isn't selfish not to go, and your concern about his feelings is sweet.

constancereader Thu 07-Aug-08 20:15:08

I would just say that I haven't heard my dh play at a gig for two years now (since pg and having a baby) and I really miss it.

Can't you wee into a pint glass and empty it in the hedge? The singer in his band did this when pg grin

Kally Thu 07-Aug-08 20:35:16

The pint glass is a brilliant idea... or take a bucket! Who cares!
The thing about everyone getting lagered up and you not may be a bit of a drag, but isn't it better than missing it? I think I would go, can't you take a buddy who won't mind leaving and driving back for you?

ButIForgetMyself Thu 07-Aug-08 20:47:54

The pint glass is a great idea! Actually, now I think about it, I went to a festival years ago and set up an extra tent and put an old washing up bowl in it and wee-ed in there and then just emptied it outside the tent afterwards....

Minging. Sorry.

I really don't want to be a miserable old bastard about it, I want to go and support him, I love the band, the festival is great, it's all local bands and it's a big deal for them.

God, how trivial is this compared to some of the stuff on here others are going through.

It's hormones. Honest.

oops Thu 07-Aug-08 20:49:35

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