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Stalker Ex's latest excuse for being down. ......And why I don't need to watch soap operas.

(18 Posts)
JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 11:15:16

Latest...got another 2 letters. He needed to tell me something important. In one of them he put his ex's phone number as she knows what he needed to tell me. I already have her number but it's in the phone the police have.
Anyway, turns out he's been so down because he knocked a woman over on a zebra crossing whilst texting did this a couple of months back. She broke her leg. He wants me to drop any charges as he's on bail for this.

I told his ex to pass on a message. Said couldn't give a xxxx about him, feel sorry for woman. Said my kids don't like him, dog hates him, want nothing more to do with him and no I won't drop charges am waiting for the police to come to pick up his sad letters.

He needs to grow up big time but I'm not holding my breath.

Found out yesterday that a friend who lives nearby knocked on my door a week last Mnday as she'd seen him lurking in the trees opposite my house peeping at my house. I wasn't in thank goodness. I walk my dog there with my kids can you imagine them seeing him there? sad angry

JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 11:17:03

He's on bail for stalking me. Think he got fined for the accident.

warthog Thu 07-Aug-08 11:56:05

you've done absolutely the right thing in not helping him. he's got to take responsibility, and if you did help him it would be a huge green light to carry on with harassing you.

texting whilst driving is pretty serious and now he's hurt someone.

he's got to take responsibility.

JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 14:58:41

warthog you're right. He's 41 but acts like a teenager. Everyone else is to blame. Thankfully he is shook up about the accident so hopefully that and the fact I'm not giving in will make him grow up?

solidgoldbrass Thu 07-Aug-08 15:06:01

Oh shit poor you: sooner or later this silly sod will get the jail time he deserves and possibly some therapy (though people like him rarely respond well to therapy, their worldview is too sociopathic). IF other people are contacting you on his behalf, tell them he is stalking you and you have no interest in the messages (though to be fair you could tell them that they can agree to pass messages on to you if they fear for their own safety, just not to bother doing so).

JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 15:09:08

They are passing them on as I'd rather know and it's more evidence. I really think he's getting the message now as he's realised I'm not backing down. Agree about his sociopathic view of the world. Funny thing is he'd get really upset about sad news. Plus he was very protective of me when I was ill. I remember he had tears in his eyes once reading a story about a young woman who got cancer.

solidgoldbrass Thu 07-Aug-08 18:55:31

Sociopaths are often very sentimental, but it's all part of the self-obsession ('look how sensitive I am! My feelings are so much more intense and important than anyone else's'). I take your point about the more evidence,and definitely don't back down. THe next stage will probably be a flurry of attempted 'apologies' through various means of delivery: treat these the same way as everything else. Because he's not going to stop without at least a night in the cells and probably a month or two inside.

JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 22:58:55

That makes sense solid. His bail date has been brought forward. He stalked me again tonight outside my church. The pc arrested him tonight though so hopefully he'll leave me alone for a while?

solidgoldbrass Thu 07-Aug-08 23:14:00

Good that he's been nicked. Is it the first time they have actually managed to feel his collar or is he already on bail for harassing you? Because if it's the second, he won't be out and about for a bit

JumpingDizzy Thu 07-Aug-08 23:28:13

second time. Pc didn't say he was in the cells he said his bail's been brought forward.

warthog Sat 09-Aug-08 11:39:50

this guy isn't getting it. he gets out of jail and goes straight back to stalking you? you absolutely have to stick to your guns on this one, any deviance will give him the green light that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. what a nutter.

how are you doing? you sound very together.

lou33 Sat 09-Aug-08 11:43:35

blimey what will it take for him to leave you alone?

you sound like you are coping very well though

i have a feeling exh may do something like this when he comes back, now he has been dumped and the baby isnt his, though i hope not

i am going to follow your example if he does

good luck

JumpingDizzy Sat 09-Aug-08 12:57:59

oh I'm doing well. He's been banged up grin

I'll fill you in with next events.

Lou I hope not for your sake. Got stuff to tell you online soon xx

Anniegetyourgun Sat 09-Aug-08 13:06:42

In slightly different circumstances, when XH started to encroach unacceptably on my new life, I chased him up the road and threw a bag of groceries at him. I don't suppose it would work with yer genuine psycho stalker, but it sure startled the life out of my passive-aggressive X. Now he stays in his car when he picks the boys up, ready for a quick getaway I assume grin. I don't know what's got into me nowadays (the devil possibly), but I like it.

JumpingDizzy Sat 09-Aug-08 13:50:09

grin Annie, think you suit your name lol.

Anniegetyourgun Sat 09-Aug-08 14:58:29

XH used to say he was trying to help me not to be such a doormat. Well that one backfired on him big-time, didn't it?

lou33 Sat 09-Aug-08 18:00:47

oh they always have a reason why they are right

JumpingDizzy Sun 10-Aug-08 13:34:41

How good of him Annie hmm

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