Ex boyfriend keeps driving past advice needed

[fifitinkerbell]

Bear with mine a dont really know how to start. Ex boyfriend & I finished 20 months ago I knew last year he was driving past the end on my road but it was resonable hours so didnt think anything off it. Forward to March this year go out come back at 3am & see him driving past so stand watching out the window (he cant see me) but I count that he drives past 14 times before I go to bed strange....Then I bump into him he starts telling me he loves me etc tell him I dont feel the same & I mention driving past he said he cant sleep so he goes for a drive I live 8 miles from him so driving past the end of my close not really an option.Even my 14 year old son has mention ex driving past when he comes in between 9 & 9.30.I said well thats not normal behaviour. Now I have got a new boyfriend whom I have been seeing for a month and only comes round when boys are at their fathers but I never let him stop the night he normally leaves about 1 ish. We have kept quiet about seeing each other as I am still going through a messy divorce 3 1/2 years on. Anyway new boyfriend sister has found out that we are seeing each other from ex's sister as he has seen new fella leaving so what is he doing at 1 in the morning,sat watching my house? I am now starting to find all this abit creepy. Advice would be appreciated. As wondering if thats why the dogs have been jumpy & dont laugh but noticed that some of my knickers have gone missing just thought they where lost in the ironing basket, but have checked not there. Advice would be very welcome as I know this isnt normal behaviour for someone.

[Hecate]

log it with the police. Every time you see him, get it logged. That way, if it escalates, you have a history recorded and the police can take action.

[Baffy]

Agree with Hecate

Driving past once or twice at the end of a relationship would seem pretty normal, whilst someone gets their head round the split and the grief etc.

But driving past over 10 times on a regular basis, when the relationship finished 20 months ago... it's worrying, OTT and pretty much stalker behaviour.

In fact very worrying. Log everything with the police and see what their advice is.

[VinegarTits]

Yes log it with the police and keep a diary of his behaviour, and the times he drives past, it is stalker behaviour, sounds like he is obssessed, its very worrying.

[fifitinkerbell]

Glad that you are all thinking like I am thinking as I was starting to think maybe I was over-reacting. But I started thinking it was strange when last month when I returned from my holiday, I kept seeing him drive past work. Will ring the local police station today at lunch time. He just needs to get a life I dont know why he is doing it. Is it because May 2007 he came & visited me in hospital & told me he still loved me etc & I said well sorry I dont feel the same. And he went off in a huff. I should have realised then that it was strange behaviour as I was very ill at the time.

[Alexa808]

Change your locks (doesn't cost much, geta brand new one), alert your neighbours if you can. Seal and lock windows. I don't know what it's called, but you could buy something like a circuit lock. You stick it on windows and switch it on. Once on, should the connection be broken (i.e. window being opened) an almighty shrill alarm will go off. It's cheap, but buy enough to seal each window, patio door, toilet, etc.

Speak to police, say you believe he's been in your property. Things have gone missing. He's stalking you, you feel threatened.

Go to your GP, tell him you can't sleep, you've had anxiety attacks, sweat breaking out, you feel threatened and are scared. Def. register it with GP!! This will hold up in court should your stalker ex continue to do this. It's confidential, no one will know these records exist. But you should get your doc to note it. It'll show how your ex's actions impact your daily life and well-being.

[warthog]

yup, agree with telling police. i also wonder whether you should tell him that he's got to stop?

definitely keep the log, and from now on trust your instincts and if you think something's missing, log it too.