Why does my dp fly off the handle and go into a major mood so easily? It can be the smallest thing that sets him off, then he stomps around for hours.
He's always been like this, since he was a child apparently. I know its not me - we have a good, strong relationship - but how do I handle it?
I have got used to handling it day by day (not that its easy), but its the thought that this is what its going to be like for ever that scares me.
Most of the time things are fine. But a major mood 2/3 times a week can last for hours and hours. Sometimes I just want to scream at him , but it makes things worse, so now I just avoid him.
This morning our 2 yr old ds decided to get up early (only about 30 mins early). He came into our bed and started to chatter, then got up and wandered around. Saturday is supposed to be dps day for getting up (I do the other 6), but hes crap in the morning. This morning he got really mad with ds and shouted at him and shut him in his room. ds was frightened. dp was angry. I was pissed off & had to get up again. Dp then went and made a bed for himself in the spare room, where he kipped for an extra hour.
Just a rant really. Don't suppose theres any magic solution. Anyone else have a problem with anger in their relationship?
I think thats completely out of order - it's one thing taking bad mood out on us adults - but when its taken out on babies then that's got to stop - esp if ds was frightened.
would he go to some kind of self help class or relaxation technique class?
He sounds a lot like my dh & I have suggested anger management to him, but I doubt anything will come of it.
If my dh gets really angry, he has even been known to smash things or kick things (not me or the children)
You have my sympathy.
my dp has changed dramatically from the immature, angry lad he was when he was young and drinking lots. Hes brilliant now but still has slight angry tendencies wants to get this sorted so got offered counselling on NHS. My mum says this is a bad idea cos if the authorities get even a wiff of angry tendencies they'll have social work on us for our daughter (who he does ntohing to, but care for her) is this the case?
Hiya - my dp has had some big anger issues. I made him go to the gp who got him 6 weeks of NHS councelling at the surgery and it was brilliant. I think it has done him the world of good to sit and talk to someone neutral and letit all out. Also obviously the councellor knew all the right questions to ask to get him thinking etc.
He asked the doc for anger management classes so the doc wrote away to get him on them and the reply was basically you dont get on the anger management course unless you're basically psychotic!! Not impressed!!
But do go for the councelling. You may be surprised at the difference in him - I was!!
Oh - and they wont involve social services - I actually told my HV what was going on with my dp because it was affrecting DD so all she did is come round to me every week or so and have a chat to see how things were going.
I am in a very similar situation with my H.
Living like him is like living with an un exploded bomb at times. (see dh temper thread)
He does not think it is a major problem, as he does not hit me, however he does scare me a lot with his temper alone.
I did mention some bits to my HV, just after ds2 was born because I was suffering from depression.
Like sf said, they do not tend to get social services involved, but just come round & listen to you.
I am now starting to see the affect that his behaviour is having on ds1, as last night while H was having another go at me, ds1 (5) came up & wrapped his arms around me.
I asked if he was ok & he said "I am saving you from Daddy."
I think this even got to H a bit.
It's really horrible isn't it?
My ds1 is a very anxious child, who has social & interaction problems.
I feel so sad & guilty thinking that H's behaviour has damaged him in some way.
If H shouts at anyone (ds1, ds2 or me) ds1 jumps.