Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Getting stressed and caught between ahem 'strong characters'

(4 Posts)
CaraMia Wed 06-Aug-08 12:07:54

A bit of a tired ramble from a new Mumsnetter... )

Our first child was born two years ago but suffered brain injuries around birth. After months of hell and difficult choices she died this year due to an infection.

Very happy to say that two months ago we had another lovely healthy daughter. Great time but now the honeymoon is passing off and I'm feeling caught between three basically kind but often irritating characters - an insecure and unintentionally domineering mum , a SIL who can be great crosses the line into viewing my brother's children as her own (though she has 2 kids) and a MIL who has the start of dementia and is a big believer in complimentary medicine (sits and gives my daughter reiki though its not something I believe in personally). Feeling caught between trying to stand up for my own views and then not always being confident of the right thing to do. Probably the best thing to do is smile sweetly and agree but I try to put my own view across and end up feeling like a shrew. Other great factors like my Mum and SIL don't like each other, and the two sides of the family tend to have vey different approaches about feeding / handling / any issue you care to mention. DH is lovely but keeps his head down.

How do I take a chill pill about all this as its not going to go away? Its spoiling my time with my daughter a bit (who is pretty refluxy or collicky at the moment poor wee bunny, not really adding to feeling of calm!).

lazaroulovesleggings Wed 06-Aug-08 12:12:03

My goodness, I'm so sorry for your loss.

How about a break away somewhere, to get your thoughts together?

Anna8888 Wed 06-Aug-08 12:12:52

Very sorry to read about your DD1.

But glad to hear about your lovely DD2.

I think that you need to try to keep all your relatives, however well-intentioned, at arms' length while you work out how you and your DH want to bring up your daughter. Can you do this easily ie do you rely on relatives for childcare or can you try to spend less time with them and more with other new mothers?

CaraMia Wed 06-Aug-08 13:58:55

Mum and SIL both live close by, inlaws don't but are here just now for a bit. At the moment its not so much about child care as everone wanting to spend time with my daughter. I'm not spending time at all really with other new mothers, been to one group but finding it a bit intimidating, probably just need to perservere. Money is too tight for a proper break but maybe a night or two with friends could do the trick.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: