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... or... AIBU Because I'm farking well sick of dh deciding every Friday night...

(13 Posts)
yousaidit Sat 02-Aug-08 01:25:41

... he's either going out or being anexample of martydom by staying in but buying lager and wine from shop, drinking everything he's bought and any spare botte f wine left over and possibly a glass of whisky, then being fecking useless Saturday so i have to get up with dd even though i'm nearly 30 weeks pg and would love just an extra hour in bed come saturday since i have to get up with dd mon to fri, but if he deigns to get up with dd on sat mornings he is invariably shagged out andhas to go back to bed for a nod, is sstill shagged out when he gets up, then is tired saturday night and usually shagge dout sunday too (chances ar he's had another bottle of wine) repeat this every every every bloody weekend: if dh spends 2 hours a weekend playing with dd i'm amazed, yet all dh moans about is how littlehe sees of dh, yet he can't be fucked to get a decent nights sleep and be with his bl;oody family for the two full days i see him: i'm feckin well knackered as i'm pt working then do all the washing ironing cooking (except sat / syun when i refuse) all the bath and bedimes. Every weekend dh then says oooh i've been tired i know its not best for me to drink and be tired next weekend we'll get up together and do something. All he manges to do with dd is put on a feckin dvd for her and let her watch telly,for fucks sake. Tonight was a works do, straight after work, got the usual 'ooh i'm tired it won't be a late one', he cahrged his mobile up and guesss what, he's no where to be seen and hone switched off. Good job it's not an emergency. I honestly don't know why he bothers even living here cause all he is bothered about is farting about lying in bed moaning how tired hge is. I can't even remember when he hast fed dd one of her meals on a weekend. He does it so little she has absolutely no interest in letting him feed her and can run rings round him. Last time he bothered to try putting her to bed (when i had changed her, brushed teeth, ran the bath, got milk warmed, because obviously he can't do all that too) i had to go up after him to give dd her milk because he couldn't get her to drink it. I might as well have a fecking lodger for the amount of family time i get from him. angry Sorry, just need to have a good whinge.

yousaidit Sat 02-Aug-08 01:26:59

There's five huge bin bags of grass outside our door from mowing lawn that have been there weeks, they stink of rotting grass. They were going to get moved last week / this week, but hey ho, what a suprise, they're still there too.

ConstanceWearing Sat 02-Aug-08 03:35:41

Stand your ground, ysi. The nicer you are the more they'll try and get away with. Tired my arse. They don't know the meaning of the word, til they've pushed humanity out of their fanjos.

[Will re-read this tomorrow when I'm sober, and disagree with everything I've said. But for now - girl power!! Fark 'em. ]

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 02-Aug-08 07:22:57


It seems like every weekend he's drinking. Do you think he's drinking too much?.

If you give him an ultimatum you're going to have to stick to it to the letter otherwise he will not take you seriously. I think he is being very selfish. You need though to make him see the consequences of his actions.

yousaidit Sat 02-Aug-08 07:54:32

Hmm, don't think it huge amounts he's drinking, it'sjust if its there, like bloody biscuits, it goes!! The onlything safe are a few squares of posh white choc dh bought me for my b'day which he daren't eat but he keeps asking me to because he can't bear oipening the fridge and seeing the chocolate there hmm. He rolled home at half one, i let rip and now he's in bed. Tbh, i wanted to get up coz then if i'm knackered i'm blobbing of work next week. Not sure about an ultimatum thiough, it's the noty getting up and missing half the weekebnd that farks me off more than anything else, he's pretty fab. Grrrrrrrrr. BUT I SHALL SEE WHAT TIME HIS LOTRDSHIP ARISES.

StellaWasADiver Sat 02-Aug-08 08:01:36

What if you woke him up instead of letting him sleep in for hours?

IT sounds pretty shit to be honest - you say he is fab in every other way but your daughter won't even let him give her milk?

2point4kids Sat 02-Aug-08 08:09:05

Wake him up. Tell him you are exhausted and its his turn to get up.
Tell him to take her out to the park so you can get some proper rest.
You are best off getting her used to doing things alone with DH now as you'll need him to help with her when your baby is born.

ChairmumMiaow Sat 02-Aug-08 08:09:31

Hmm, from your description he doesn't sound fab at all. Not one bit!

If what you've written is not at all affected by annoyance at him this at the moment, read it back to yourself and ask yourself where exactly he is a good DH!

mrsruffallo Sat 02-Aug-08 08:16:03

You have to confront him and explain that while you understand his need to unwind at the weekend- can you just agree on one night a week and alternate lay ins?
Gently suggest that if he drank a bit less alcohol and a little more water alongside it then he wouldn't feel so tired the next day either!

mrsruffallo Sat 02-Aug-08 08:17:35

I would also suggest that he takes your dd to the park on a saturday or sunday morning to give you some time for yourself.
You are pregnant, he is being selfish, even if he is remorseful!

LoveMyGirls Sat 02-Aug-08 08:25:38

Give him until 9.30 am get yourself ready and go to your mums or a friends and relax for the day while he looks after dd. If I was you I'd be tempted to book myself into a hotel for a night perhaps with a best mate and go and have a lovely time relaxing smile He can and will cope you just have to make him and the only way to do that is to not be there.

beanieb Sat 02-Aug-08 09:27:44

Plonk your DD onto his belly and tell him youi are going out!

yousaidit Sat 02-Aug-08 11:41:35

Beanieb:usually end up doing that: dd shoves her finger in his belly button really hard, cackles then shouts po-pat! po pat (for god oldpostman pat) or crawls after dhs golf balls while he practices puuting in the hallway hmm

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